Survival & Sarcasm
by ProfessorScience
Summary: It's hard working for the RDA, so you'd think that if they stopped bothering you and your research, it would be great. That is, until they stop showing up altogether. Complete!
1. Chapter 1: Forgotton

"_I'm going to die out here._

_I'm going to die out here, and God knows how long it'll be before they find my body, or is it bodies? Ugh. Negative thinking. Gotta stop that. Pandora loooooves it when you give. It just makes you easier to chew."_

Dr. Tabar paused. He had been making video logs of his current situation for months, but this was the first time that the subject of death had really come up. Sure, he had plenty of food which he had managed to gather from the plains around him, but it wasn't food that worried him; it was the whole 'filters failing and slowly choking to death on delightful party mix of Ammonia, Carbon Dioxide, and Hydrogen Cyanide' that gave him the willies.

"_The way I see it,_" he went on, "_I have about three options:_

_One: I can stay in here, wait for the filters to fail, and die in here._

_Two: I can get in my avatar, wait for the filters to fail, and die out there._

_Three: I can put on an exopack, go outside, pick a fight with the largest animal I meet, and die in several pieces."_

Nervous laughter. In the back of his mind, he still held out that the RDA had a very good reason for not checking up on him for ages, and their explanation for any lack of new supplies or maintenance would be entirely rational, but this was also the back part of his mind that still believed that the Tooth Fairy was real and that Elvis was somehow still alive. If they were going to come, they already would have. He slumped back in his swivel chair, and slowly started to rub his temples while he continued his log.

"_I...I don't know what to do. It's January for crissakes, and this linkup station is nowhere near close enough to Hell's Gate to even get my avatar there. I could get there normally, with the re-breather, but I might as well just put a big sign on my back that says 'SNACK!'. I could ask for the Na'vi to help me out, but anything short of dragging the damn station with a direhorse fleet would just end up making things worse. So. It's a little past noon, and even though suffocation is a real threat, I do estimate that I have at least another month of clean air before I have to start using the exopacks inside. Going out to collect some more samples, be back when I'll be back."_

He leaned forward and shut off the webcam, noting the date: January 20, 2155. He had been in his box for nine months, and the only thing keeping him sane at this point was his large video library, and he'd watched everyone on there at least three times. In between sleep and fighting boredom, he'd venture out every few days to collect samples from the local fauna to study the phenomenon of iridescence on Pandora. For the most part, he avoided the Na'vi, for the clans of the area in which his outpost was located had a particular disdain for _uniltìrantokx_, dreamwalker bodies. Most of the time they just yelled at him, except the one occasion where a young hunter "accidentally" shot an arrow into a tree, a few millimeters from his head.

Pushing back on his chair, he used his momentum to roll all the way back to his link chamber. From his link chamber, he could see into the second part of the station, where his avatar laid on a slab, empty and ready to go. He always found it funny that the RDA was willing to make exact (bigger) copies of his normal clothes for field studies, especially considering how stingy there with, well, everything else. He opened the link chamber, and reached over to type the password, murmuring it aloud as he pressed each key. "B-I-G-B-L-U-E-M-A-N."

"Man, I need to change that." he said as he typed in the transfer sequence, and the machine began to hum. A pop-up appeared on the screen, indicating that consciousness transfer would begin in two minutes, giving him more than enough time to lay down on the plastic bed, and have the door close down on him. Now surrounded by the blue lights of the inner link chamber, he had to endure the wait as he counted down the seconds in his mind. It was the worst part, and he never could get the timing just right.

"One Mississippi, two Mississippi" he started, "three Mississippi, four Mississippi, Five Mississippi, Six Missi**III**-"

Suddenly cut off, he once again found himself traveling, or rather, hurdling through a ultra-colorful tunnel of light, like a roller coaster on drugs made of rainbows. His entire being was being thrown all of ten feet to another body, but it never failed to feel like a few light years. The hurdling seemed to slow now, and the colors became subdued, tame. The familiar roaring was more of a whisper now, and sensation creeped back into his extremities. Once he had total feeling, he slowly rose up from the padded slab, and he went through the normal check-list.

Arms functional? Check.

Legs? Good to go.

Ears? Still pointy.

Tail? Watch the door this time around. That hurt like all hell.

Jumping off the slab, he started to gather his gear from his side of the station, including his RDA-issued survival backpack, and the ever-stylish light-brown jacket with dozens of pockets on it. Oversized, of course, and topped off with your standard long khakis and hiking boots. "All I need is a pithe helmet." he snarked to nobody in particular, noting his somewhat sterotypical explorer outfit in the mirror. "Right," he said, "I better get going, still need some Warbonnet samples. After that, who knows?"

Pressing the airlock button, the steel doors to the research station slowly hissed open, and he stepped outside into the crisp, toxic air.


	2. Chapter 2: Flesh Wound

His job was simple enough: withdraw small tissue samples from the iridescent lights of Pandoran organisms. However, when one hasn't had human contact in almost a year, compounded upon the looming threat of death, a person might start talking to themselves. Dr. Tabar had been doing that for weeks. Currently, he was whistling the Star Spangled Banner as he strolled into the brush of the jungle planet, and eventually mulled over the reasons for the RDA's absence.

"Well, there are a two reasons I can fathom", he started to mumble, "neither of them pretty. Either they forgot about me, which knowing them is very likely, or...or something happened. Something bad."

He stopped in his tracks. Hell's Gate was essentially a gigantic fortress, with sentries posted in towers a mile high with orders to shoot anything that so much as gave them a funny look. Unless the locals high-jacked the Dragon and the rest of the air force, there was really nothing short of a nuclear attack that would destroy the human colony. No, no, that's just silly. He began moving again through the thick brush in search of the ever-present Warbonnet plant, which seemed to be everywhere on the planet.

"I am going to die out here." he said once more, laughing. At this point, he had taken an almost comical outlook to his fate, but for the most part he kept his mind off of it and concentrated on gathering samples and studying their chemical composition. He'd start _really _worrying about his personal safety when his avatar starting moving on its own and began moaning '_braaaaains'_.

"Zombie avatars. Science, you villainous cur!" he yelled in a overly dramatic fashion, shaking his fist toward the sky. A forest banshee gliding overhead screeched back, probably telling him to shut it.

He made his way into a clearing, and hit the botanical jackpot: an oasis of Warbonnet plants, all clustered together in small groups, situated around a small stream. Wasting no time, he quickly drew a syringe from one of his many pockets, and started drawing samples from the elephant-ear-like plant. It was soul-crushingly slow work, as each bioluminescent spot only gave him an incredibly small sample, and he needed several syringes to fill.

After he had filled up the third syringe, Dr. Tabar decided a break was in order, as his wrist has started to feel like it was on fire. He laid out some fruit he had picked along the way, along with a standard bottle of purified water which kept in his backpack, and he allowed himself to relax a bit. Pandora was a death-trap of a planet, sure, but for a little while, a feeling of contentment prevailed, and his mind wandered off his eventual death by alien atmosphere. For the first time in weeks, he felt good.

And then an arrow hit him.

Well, it didn't really hit him. It grazed him in his left shoulder and the four-foot long piece of wood dug in into the ground with an audible _tunk_, and and almost immediately he realized that his striped blue arm wouldn't move. In fact, it kind of felt like someone was pouring lava on it. Screaming a string of curses that would make a marine bow his head, he rolled over and began running off into the forest, in the general direction of his linkup station.

Along the way, he learned some interesting things. For example, this certain kind of neurotoxin works by first disabling the limb it strikes. Then, a massive headache slams into you like a Hammerhead, and your vision begins to blur. Pretty soon, it becomes hard to breathe, and then your legs start to feel like they're made of imitation jell-o, and then you go blind, with all of this happening in the span of about two minutes. But, it wasn't the potent paralyzing agent that stopped him; that honor went to a tree that he crashed into as his vision left him. Bits of bark flew every which way, and he stumbled backwards, landing flat on his butt. He was numb, drooling, barely cognitive, and the last thing the heard before passing out were voices. The first sounded concerned, and the second was yelling at the first. The sounds started to fade, as he went unconscious and hit the ground.

Dr. Tabar woke up in his link chamber, still feeling a slight tingling where the arrow had hit hit him. The top lid of the chamber opened up, and he rolled out, hitting the floor hard. The numbness also seemed to carry over, but he slowly managed to pick himself up, using his desk as a prop. He climbed into his swivel chair, turned on the webcam, and tried to sort out what just happened.

"_Okay. Date of entry...whatever. I think I just got attacked by a Na'vi hunter, or something. An arrow hit me, and the next thing I know it feels like my skin is on fire, and I can't see. I think I hit a tree, blacked out, so here I am, still in pain and plenty pissed off. What the hell just happened?"_

Calm down Bill, he thought, I'm sure there's a totally good explanation for why I just got shot for no apparent reason. He took a deep breath, and continued his rant.

"_So...now I don't have an avatar. At the very least, I'm sure as hell not going to try and get back into it tonight. I...I gotta get some sleep. Something. A crapload of my stuff is still on that jacket, so I'm to have to at least get that. I'll try to get back into tomorrow, and it that fails, I really don't have any choice but to go looking for it. Whatever happens, things just got a lot more, uh, interesting. Or hellish. Either works. So, yeah."_

_click._

For the next few hours, Bill didn't move much. He just sat in his chair, with head head on his desk. He cried a few times too, and that was usually followed by hysterical laughter. Then more crying. He eventually got bored of that, and slowly rolled his chair over to the bunk and laid down. This was the worst day ever since Quaritch made him do 100 push-ups right after he had gotten off the Valkyrie. "I hate that guy." he grunted, rolling over to find a comfortable position, and then nodded off. He dreamed of cake, had nightmares of running from a pack of viperwolves, and more than a few fantasies that involved Selfridge dying. Horribly. Even in his sleep, he smirked.


	3. Chapter 3: Target

There are no roosters to wake you up on Pandora. There are, however, banshee rookeries, and they are more than happy to let you know it's morning. Bill started to the orchestral screeching from the nests of the floating rocks up above the cliff where his station rested, at the base. He'd go outside and tell them to shut their traps, but he liked living. The doctor got up and walked over to his mini-kitchen, and the remembered the events of yesterday as he was microwaving a burrito.

"Oh shit."

Bill debated with himself for a long while whether to try and jump back into the avatar, which could very well be dead, or to get geared up and go looking for the avatar, although the thought of dragging a ten-foot tall dead weight back home didn't really sit well with Bill. Plopping himself once again in his cushy swivel chair, he turned to the camera and began a recording of his thoughts.

"_I'm screwed. Oh, and I'm going to die out here._

_So, here's what has probably happened: My avatar was hit by a poison arrow, and I got kicked out of it, which probably means it's dead. If it isn't dead, it's certainly completely defenseless since I'm not in it, and in that case if I tried to link with it then there's a very real possibility that I'd wake up wondering why I couldn't feel my legs or arms, because they would have been chewed off by scavengers overnight._

_If I really have lost my avatar, then I'm gonna go insane, because that's really my only hobby out here, and movies don't count! I will pick a fight with a Thanator before I have to watch another romantic comedy._

_Still, I'm going to wait a while, and get myself prepared for this. _

_This is what I'm gonna do: I will first attempt to use my avatar, failing that, I will don a re-breather and go looking for it. If that doesn't net me any results...well, I'll cross that lava river when I come to it."_

_click._

Taking a deep breath, he slowly walked over to the link chamber, and input his very uncreative password. The psonic projector began to spin, and he set the transfer sequence to begin in five minutes, both to give him time to get in the machine and to let him mentally prepare himself for whatever horrible things happened to his avatar body in his absence.

"I mean, let's facts the facts here," he said, his words echoing in the cramped chamber, "I'm not exactly the luckiest person in the universe. From the ages of 16-30, I got hit by a car every year and I'm getting the creeping suspicion that this planet hates my guts. Dunno what I did to anger it, but it's really getting annoying I wish it'd stooooOO**OOO-"**

No matter how many times he jumped to his avatar, it never ceased to feel weird as hell. In fact, his immediate words upon using his avatar for the first time were "this is weird as hell.". Once he got past the initial amazement and child-like awe of being in a totally different body, it really just boiled down to watching out for low ceilings and not crushing his tail when he closed a door behind him. Still, riding the rainbow coaster to the avatar always did maintain an element of cool. The tunnel ended in a wall of blackness, and Bill found himself experiencing a combo of exhaustion, pain, and the symptoms of a hangover.

"_Uuuuuuugggggggh."_

The nuerotoxin was still pumping through his veins, but had subsided enough to only feel like a tranquilizer made from chloroform and warm milk. His whole body was still extremely sluggish, and any major movement was still out of the question. Hearing returned next, and he heard voices, the same two voices that he had heard from yesterday after his match of chicken with a tree. Finally, his vision began to sharpen, and instead of the huge green blur, he saw a huge green blur with two smaller blue blurs in the foreground, and they were standing over him, talking.

It took him a second to register that they weren't speaking English, but he didn't spend five years learning the Na'vi language for nothing.

"_Can we leave him now?"_

"_No."_

"_Why?"_

"_The poison is still inside him. He's helpless."_

So these are the guys that shot me, he thought. Kind of weird that they'd still keep me alive, and apparently are waiting for the toxin to wear off. How nice of them? His vision was getting better, and now he could get a pretty good look at his two attackers/defenders.

The one closest to him was a Na'vi, a hunter from the looks of it. His legs and lower torso were covered in a drab brown cloth with bright blue lines flowing where his iridescent dots where, and a massive bow was slug over his chest. He was also wearing what appeared to be a large necklace made from Leonopteryx teeth, arranged in an circle with a bead in the middle. His long neck and cat-like face had more than a few wrinkles, and his massive yellow eyes were starting intently at Bill, noting each tiny movement he made as he slowly regained control of his limbs.

Behind him, was a much shorter Na'vi, probably a teenager. His legs were covered in the typical Na'vi loincloth, plus bits of bone that were sewn into the leather. The blue humanoid's arms were crossed, and his tail was swooshing side to side, impatiently.

His nervous system began to feel functional again, so Bill decided that he was feeling good enough to at least make words.

"Uh..." he started, and the older hunter immediately took a few steps back, giving him space.

"Uh...either of you speak English?" he asked. The two Na'vi looked at each other, and back at him.

"No?"

"_I guess I will speak Na'vi then."_

This provoked a surprised look from both of the aliens, but neither said anything. Hating awkward silences, he continued.

"_Um, before I say anything else, I have to ask a question. What happened yesterday?"_

The younger Na'vi chuckled, but the larger one shot him a mean look, and the adolescent's eyes went wide with fear and he quickly stopped. Looking back at Bill, still slumped against the tree, he replied.

"_What is your name?"_

Well, that wasn't the answer he was looking for. But, not wanting to piss off the big angry-looking hunter when a rabbit could kick his ass at the moment, he gave him his name.

"_Bill. Bill Tabar. I also have a doctorate in ch-"_

"_I am O'Tey, Billtabar." _interrupting Bill, while placing a palm on chest. His face turned to that of annoyance, as he motioned toward the younger hunter behind him, "_and that is my son Keydo'mo. He is the one you can thank for your poor luck."_

"_So, what happened?" _Bill inquired, hoping to get an answer this time. Names are nice, but they don't cure paralysis.

"_Yesterday, my son and I were hunting, when we saw you in a clearing. My son drew his bow, but I told him that you weren't a threat-"_

Oh, thanks.

"_but in his foolishness-"_

Que exasperated sigh from Keydo'mo.

"_he accidentally let go of his arrow, and it hit you. Luckily, only a bit of the poison got inside of you."_

"Jesus, Buddha and Cthulhu, what did you put in there?" Bill thought, "Cyanide and distilled evil?"

"_It was an accident. Just be more careful in the future." _the semi-drugged doctor said, even though he kind of wanted the strangle the (sort of) little hunter for he put him through.

O'Tey stood up, and turned toward Keydo'mo. _"My son would like to say something to you."_ he growled. Keydo'mo stepped forward, and bowed his head slightly.

"_I apologize from my stupidity."_

Bill laughed, which. quickly devolved into coughing. He could clearly see the borderline rage building on Keydo'mo's face, and it funniest thing he had ever seen. Still, he really wanted to get his avatar back to the link station, and he was pretty sure his legs were at least willing to attempt the task of walking.

"_I would like to talk to you some more, O'Tey and Keydo'mo. But I have to go. Sky People errands, you understand."_ he said as he slowly slid himself up the tree, leaning his back against it.

A confused look washed over O'Tey's face, and he began to speak when another facial expression appeared on his face: pure, unfiltered fear. He slowly took a few steps back, and mouthed the Na'vi words for "Do. Not. Move."

Bill's eyes wandered over to where O'Tey was staring at, and he noticed the head of a Thanator peeking around the bark of the tree he was leaning against. It's mean eyes were studying O'Tey and apparently hadn't noticed Bill, and probably wouldn't have, but Bill's legs gave, and his bottom his the ground.

It's huge, reptilian eyes re-focused on Bill, and it's quills went down. It growled, took a few steps forward, and let out the loudest roar just a few feet from his drool began sliding out of the scaled predator's mouth, his brain hatched a plan. Acting on his sudden inspiration, he grabbed a handful of dirt, and threw it into the eyes of the Thanator. It belted out another roar, and knocked him to the ground, hard.

"Welp", he thought, "I'm out of ideas. It looked a lot easier in the movies."

The blinded Thanator lunged forward at the disabled doctor, and it was at this time that Bill realized his little girl scream carried over into his avatar body, too.


	4. Chapter 4: Chemistry and Victory

As the Thanator lunged forward with four of its six muscular legs stretched outward, several things happened very quickly. First, the beastie missed by a few inches, eyes still blinded by the dirt thrown by Bill. The massive creature crashed into the ground and let out a piercing howl, thrashing its head about in an attempt to grab anything near it. Bill, now frozen more from fear than toxin, managed roll over out the range of the Thanator's swipe, which had whooshed over him several times as it continued to throw its temper tantrum.

Second, an arrow lodged itself in the Thanator's back, which prompted another painful cry, and from the corner of his eye he could see O'Tey readying another arrow, while his son was still fumbling to string an arrow with his bow.

Third, the monster spun around in direction from the trajectory of the arrow, roared, and pounced several dozen feet. Its aim was right on the mark this time around, and it slammed right into the Na'vi hunter's chest as he was about to shoot his second arrow. The creature used its massive paws to pin his arms to the ground, and it screamed right in O'Tey's face, making sure to show its full row of teeth and all ten of its sensory quills.

"_Father!" _Keydo'mo screamed, dropping his bow. He was shivering with fear, and his mind blanked as to any possible options he could take to save his parent.

Bill, however, had an idea. An idea he would later punch himself for, and an idea that he thought without any consideration for the consequences. But, desperate times call for desperate measures, and he did kind of owe this Na'vi a favor.

He threw a rock at the Thanator.

It bounced harmlessly off the grey skin of the predator, but it did distract it right before it was about to use O'Tey's face as a chew toy. Its head swiveled around towards Bill, and stared at him with a murderous gaze, it's quills flaring up and the flaps on the side of its mouth opening. "Oh damn, now what?" he mind raced. His brain defaulted, and he picked up another rock and flung at the monster, hitting it square in the head.

"Hey!" Bill yelled, not screening his own words, "How about a snack!? Lean meat right here, you overgrown panther piece of sh-"

He would have said more, but the Thanator grew angry of his noise and decided he'd make a better meal than the Na'vi he had pinned down. It let out a shrill roar, and started running at Bill with full intention to mutilate him beyond all recognition. The doctor's brilliant plan didn't include what to do after he threw the rock, so running like he had never run before would have to do. Kicking it into adrenaline-fueled overdrive, he hightailed it into the the jungle, with the horror with teeth quite literally right on his tail.

The jungles of Pandora seemingly go on forever, and since there are no roads, you more or less have to make your own path through the environment, which can be a hindrance when you're being chased by an animal nearly the size of a semi-truck. Dr. Tabar had to work with what he was given, and he didn't have much.

He first made a sharp turn to the right, using a tree to swing his way around in another direction, and could hear the shattering of wood as the Thanator just clawed it out of the way. He began to zig-zag through the plants in an effort to confuse it, but the thing just continued to run a straight line, smashing anything in its way into a million splinters. Then, a root from a nearby tree caught his boot, and he was sent careening into the ground, hitting the soil face first. His hunter was still in full throttle, and overshot him, running a few yards ahead of him before turning around. Freeing himself, he took off once again, and the Thanator let out another roar and pursued.

Bill realized that thing was eventually going to catch him, and he struggled to think of a way he could get rid of it. They hated water, but there were no major rivers in the area, and there was nothing in the jungle, not even the Na'vi, that would dare try and stop a hungry Thanator. He began to pat down his coat, and he had found his salvation: grenades.

Molotovs would actually be a closer approximation, and these things certainly weren't standard issue. In fact, Bill was the one who discovered them, as it turns out one of the byproducts of Unobtanium refinement is a rare isotope of Technetium, and when it comes in contact with the gastric juices of a certain carnivorous plant on Pandora, produces a quick-burning flame that was described as being the lovechild of white phosphorus and napalm. In his time on Pandora, he made a few as a scientific curiosity and was going to show them to the RDA as a possible defensive contract item, but Dr. Augustine made him swear we wouldn't share his discovery with anyone; the last thing she wanted was a more efficient way to burn down the forest.

Still running at full speed, he hurriedly readied the crude pin on two of the grenades, and swung around with his right arm, ready to throw them (they were quite small). The Thanator took this opportunity to grab Bill's outreached arm, pick him up, and swing him side to side like a noodle.

_Crack. _Goodbye, unbroken humerus.

Scorching with pain, Bill made a futile effort to make the animal let go by kicking it in the jaw, its head will still shaking him left and right. With what remained of his strength, he gave one, final boot to the snout of the creature, and its mouth reflexively opened wide enough to let him arm out, but not before its razor sharp teeth tooth a healthy amount flesh and skin out of his blue limb as it slid out of the Thanator's mouth.

The momentum sent Bill quite a distance from the angry horror, and he ended up hitting another tree, this time with his back. The creature snorted, kicked up some dirt, and let out a sound that gave Bill no doubt what it was planning to do to him. Bill was not a religious man, but that didn't stop him from praying to every religious deity he had ever heard of, and evidently one of them heard his plea, because as he looked at his mangled arm, he noticed something.

He was holding the pins to the molotovs, but the molotovs were nowhere to be seen. And then came the boom.

A huge fireball erupted from the Thanator's mouth, a surprised shriek escaping from the animal as it tried desperately to put it out, rolling the dirt and patting the fire with its front two paws. It began to try and bury its head in the ground, and then the second boom came. This one had been slightly swallowed, as a white glow appeared in the throat of the monster, and what sounded like a cross between a cough and yell came out. The Thanator was now spazzing in pure pain and it continued to claw and bite everything around it, debris flying everywhere. It's head was now engulfed in flames, and the fire in its throat had eaten through the skin and hit the ground. Its legs buckled, and it landed on its side with a thump that shook the ground around it, and as it made its final lashings it made a noise that would haunt Bill forever: a growing, sorrow-filled reverberation that could be heard for miles in any direction.

It stopped moving, and the orange-white glow around its head began to douse. The Thanator was dead.

Bill's head overloaded, and when he finally computed what had just happened, he started to laugh. Hard. His bitten, bloodied arm still felt like it had been impaled with a thousand knives, but he had won the war. The Thanator's head was a burnt-out skull now, a victim of simple chemistry and opportunity.

He continued to laugh, occasionally interrupted by fits of coughing. He finally began to put his thoughts into words.

"Yeah, that's what you get, you dumb bastard!" he spat at the corpse, "I mean, death by eating grenades? How stupid were you?"

Bill sounded like a hyena now, his cackling traveling throughout the forest. More than a few viperwolves wondered why one of their own was making such a racket. He finally managed to control himself enough to bring his laughter down to a snicker, but he was in way too much pain to even consider getting up.

Drawn to the din of Bill's laughing and the Thanator's final screams, both O'Tey and Keydo'mo found the clearing where the doctor was, but they noticed the Thanator's corpse first. Its head and throat were a blackened char, and its skin looked like cracked coal, with bits of bone showing where the molotov had done the most damage, and then their focus went to the dreamwalker chemist sitting against the tree, bloodied, broken, and quietly giggling to himself.

"_He...he killed it_._ And why is he laughing?" _the young hunter asked, looking at his father.

"_I do not know, the sky people are strange, but I know this: I owe him my life."_

They slowly made their way around the burnt body, and walked up to the wounded Bill, now just wearing a small smile. He was beginning to get woozy from blood loss, but he did notice the two Na'vi above him as his head was beginning to feel balloon-like.

"Hey guys! You like BBQ?" he managed to say before his eyes rolled back into his head and he slumped back against the tree, limp.

"_What's Bar-bo-cue?" _Keydo'mo asked his father.


	5. Chapter 5: Double Betrayal

For the second time, Bill was forcibly ejected from his avatar. Side effects of sudden psionic disconnection usually included delirium, panic, confusion, weakness, and mild headaches, so his thought process was more of a patchwork of random gibberish and muscle spasms as the woke up in he plastic bed. His thinking returned to normal, and he felt an odd combination of relief and ecstasy, as he knew his avatar was okay(ish), and he just killed what was basically the Grim Reaper of the jungle. It still hadn't occurred to him that his avatar was probably bleeding out as he was laying down in his comfy, non poisonous shelter.

He took a few deep breaths, climbed out of his chamber, and strolled over to his favorite chair, turned on the computer, and made an entry.

_This thing on? _

_I just killed a Thanator by stuffing its mouth with GRENADES. Remember that time I set myself on fire a few years ago? Well, I used the materials that made that happen and concocted a neat little incendiary device. Thanator grabbed me with the hand that had the things, and felt the fury of ten thousand degrees kelvin._

_Oh, uh, so yeah. My avatar's okay. The one that shot the arrow even apologized and everything, and then the Thanator came up and chased me away and I blew it up. I kinda saved one of the natives in the process, so, yeah. My avatar went unconscious, so I'll probably wait a few hours to try and get back in. In the meantime, there's some chemical compounds from last week's extraction that have my name on them._

_click._

"Well, that happened." he said. It had been a very interesting two days for him, from depression of looming death, to panic, to a lot of panic, to joy, to sinking realization. "Oh damn. I was bleeding a lot when konked out. Hope the avatar's okay." Knowing his luck, it probably exploded as soon as he left it.

"I could go outside...", he thought, staring off into space, "but, I'm lazy. I'm sure that O'Tey and his son will take care of it while I'm gone."

Even though he had sworn the sacred oath (talking to a webcam), he decided against analyzing and naming the chemical compounds he found in the dirt and instead just take a nap. In his mind, if taking down the apex predator of the most deadly biosphere known didn't merit a break, what did? He rolled his chair over to the bunk, and just as he was climbing into the bunk, he heard a snap, then he noticed he was falling. His chair had broken, and his face planted into the tiled floor. He lay their awhile to fully take in his current lot in life.

"Betrayed by the closest thing I had to a friend." he grumbled. He pushed himself up, dusted himself off, but now he was too angry to go to sleep. Since he was going to get his avatar back in few hours, he decided to put on an exopack and do a maintenance check on the avatar's side of the station. He diddled with the lights, checked the breaker, oiled the door, slipped on the oil, busted the back part of his head on the avatar bed, cursed, cursed some more, and looked for any cracks into his side of the station. He had managed to kill an hour, and he was growing impatient.

"Meh. It should be ready by now." he said, tapping his foot at he stared at his linkup station. He typed in the password, got into the chamber, and waited for the transfer.

"When I get this avatar back here," he said to himself, "I am going to give it such a stern talking to. That means I'll be yelling at myself and/or an comatose body, but the principle still stands! It put me through a lot of troo**OOO**-

Same old LSD rainbow coaster, different day.

This time, Bill woke up not to the dulled, lingering effects of some horrible mixture of death, but instead to the searing pain of an arm that had been relieved of a good portion of its flesh. Bill's first instinct was to yelp, which he acted upon.

"Motherf-!" escaped from his mouth as he sat up, grasping his horribly stripped arm. O'Tey and Keydo'mo jumped back as he began to roll around in pain.

"_That will just make it worse." _O'Tey said, reaching out a four-fingered hand to pull him up.

"You're not helping!" he yelled in English at the Na'vi. He did, however, heed his advice, and stopped rolling around enough to subside his own dust storm. Getting into a sitting position, he took the hunter's hand and O'Tey lifted him to his two feet.

"Uh, thanks. Sorry about my little outburst."

Confused look. Oh, right.

"_Thank you."_

The alien smiled, and placed his hands on Bill's shoulder. Okay, personal space: violated, he thought.

"_I thank you! You saved my life and my son's from the Palulukan._" he said, laughing.

"Um..." Bill trailed off, "_It was nothing, really. I don't want anything in return, just to get home."_

A slight look of disappointment flickered on the old Na'vi's face, as he expecting something more, but that quickly returned to an empathic expression.

"_That I can help you with. Stay; I will go get my, I believe you call them dyer-whorzez?"_

Bill tunneled a laugh into a snort at the mispronunciation, but it was close enough. "_Yes, I believe that will do."_

The blue man ran off into the wilderness, leaving his son with the doctor to make sure nothing else attacked him. Still, he probably didn't anticipate the social awkwardness of being left alone with a person that nearly killed you the day beforehand, even if it was from clumsiness.

"_He's going to be gone a while." _Keydo'mo said, mercifully breaking the heavy silence. Never the patient type, Bill was already regretting his decision to accepting a ride back to base. He could just walk there! If it was going to take some time, he thought, he better find a way to kill it.

"_Hey kid,"_ he said smugly, "_Have you_ _ever heard of Tic-Tac-Toe?"_

Keydo'mo had most certainly not heard of Tic-Tac-Toe, but for the next hour, and after hearing the basic rules of the game, he delivered humiliating after humiliating defeat to the doctor.

"_I think that makes victory thirty-two!" _the young hunter said, crossing a line in the dirt over his diagonal row of Os. Coincidentally, Bill was up to his thirty-second facepalm. Just as they were about to start another round of embarrassment, O'Tey appeared from the jungle riding a direhorse.

"_Hello again!" _shouted Bill, waving to the Na'vi as he rode up to his son and the avatar. He jumped off, walked up to Bill, and put a hand on his chest.

"Seriously, what is it with this guy and has he never heard of the non-touchy-feely type?" Bill thought.

"_This is my Pa'li. He one of the fastest around, and has been my friend for a very long time. He is yours now. It's the least I can do."_

The gigantic steed gave an exotic whinny, and clopped two of his large hooves into the ground. It was probably feeling pretty shafted by this deal right now.

"_Thank you for the gift" _Bill replied, "_I shall treasure her always."_

"_It's a he."_

"Oh_. Well, thank you!"_

It would have been an awesome gift, but Bill had never learned how to ride on of these things. Half of the time he forgot the nerve tendrils at the end of his ponytail even existed, and never made it a policy to stick it into whatever he saw. He might catch something.

Sensing another awkward pause coming on, and not wanting to offend the man, he placed a hand on the thigh of the direorse and slowly walked in the direction of the linkup station, with the animal following him along. He waved back to them until they were out of sight. The walk home was uneventful, but it did take a long time. During the journey, Bill found himself wondering what he was going to do with such a huge steed. What would he feed it? Should he learn how to ride it? What's it's name? What's the chemical structure of its saliva?

"Hm. I'll get a sample later." he muttered to himself as he finally saw the station in sight. Picking up the pace, he walked up to the metal building, and turned his head toward the horse.

"_Stay."_ he said in Na'vi, only half-expecting the animal to actually obey his order. If it did, hey, free giant horse. If it didn't, no big loss.

He moved toward the avatar side of the station, and opened the red metal door. The arm still hurt like hell, and medical attention was still a very important issue, but as he looked around for it, he remembered that he had stuffed the first aid kit for his avatar body in the sealed, human section of the station when he reorganized and shelved a lot of stuff a few months back. Cursing himself for his own tidiness, he went back outside and walked around to the other side of the camp. He noticed the direhorse was apparently obeying its new master, as it hadn't moved from its spot since Bill told it to stay.

"Good boy." he said to the direhorse as he opened the first door to the pressurized chamber of the filtered side. He squeezed inside the small space between the two doors, and locked the one behind him. A plume of white gas spouted from the walls, and the atmospheric pressure equalized with the inside. The gases disappeared, and a click came from the handle of the second door. Bill stepped into the oxygen-rich environment, and he felt like a giant. Everything was so tiny!

"I am Godzilla! But seriously, where is that medkit?" he mumbled aloud, searching through drawers and looking under beds for the white box and red cross.

"A-hah! Next to the link chamber!" he exclaimed. He had put up on a bookshelf on a wall next to the link chamber and had totally forgotten about it. Keeping his head low, he scanned the shelf, and there it was, right on the top row. Not even having stand up a little, he grabbed the medkit and shuffled back toward the exit, but his progress was halted by the broken chair he never cleaned up.

His foot caught on one of the legs of the chair, but he managed to stop his fall by grabbing the side of a drawer. The chair wasn't done with him, though, as the wheel skidded right, causing Bill to fall backwards and to the left. Grabbing at anything to stop his fall, his fingers ran across the HUD screen for the link chamber, but he couldn't get a good grip. A few more haphazard lunges backwards sent him careening into the still-spinning psionic projector, his head hitting the very back of the round portal. Then, he heard a very familiar computerized voice.

"**Manual ejection sequence. Thirty seconds."**

"Ah shit!" he yelled, struggling to get his crown liberated from the inside of the projector. If he got kicked back to his human body while still in the room, he'd be _forever _trying to get his avatar out of the projector and back onto the other side. Then, Bill noticed something in the chrome reflection of the inner projector, and it terrified him more than a pack of raptors with machine guns.

His hair had gotten caught in the very back, and he could actually see the nerve tendrils beginning to curl around the bulb-like center for some in-explicit reason. He didn't know what would happen if he got booted back now, but he wasn't about to find out.

"**Manual ejection sequence. Twenty seconds."**

The harder he struggled, the more he seemed to get stuck and the nerve endings on his hair had engulfed the bulbous center of the projector, moving and undulating over its surface.

"No! Bad hair! You stop that!" he screamed as his long spidery legs flung around. He dented the nearby drawer, kicked the wall hard enough to send the bookcase slamming down to the floor, and smashed what remained of the broken chair to pieces, but that did little to save him from his predicament.

"**Manual ejection sequence. Ten seconds."**

"Shit! Damn! David Bowie!" he shrieked. Managing to slide a few inches to the left, he tried to use his legs to hit the HUD screen with his boots, hopefully aborting the sequence. He kicked with what little room he had, all the while still struggling to move. Swinging his striped lower extremities with all his might, his feet still couldn't reach the panel before he legs became straight. He rolled over and tried to press it when his knees, but they also wouldn't reach. He counted down the last seconds as he tried to touch it with the side of his leg.

**Six.**

"Damnit!"

**Five.**

"Aaaaaaugh!"

**Four.**

"C'mon!"

**Three.**

"Almost! Got! II**IIIIIIII-**

He never could get the timing just right. His vision exploded to white.


	6. Chapter 6: Out of the Oven

The doctor returned to find himself surrounded by darkness.

"_It finally happened. I died." _he said. "_I was expecting either suffocation or killing myself when I went insane out here, but this is how it ends? By being a klutz? You'd think it would've been the car accidents, the gunshot wounds, the smallpox, that fire, but no, I get punked out by a chair trillions of miles from home."_

Bill floated in space, wondering if this was truly what death was like. If so, he found the afterlife utterly boring, and as he settled in for an eternity of gliding through an ocean of black, he noticed something: he could hear. In the darkness, he could make a barely audible, low whirr in the background of silence. It took him a second to register what it was, and when he recognized it, his heart leaped.

It was the environment filter, still doing its job in the living quarters. He wasn't dead!

But as his other senses returned to him, he kind of wished he was. At this point, he was really missing that poison arrow, and his whole body felt like one big, pulpy mess, and a headache the size of the gas giant Pandora orbited racked his head. He still couldn't move though, so he lay helpless and he waited for his eyesight to return, which it took its sweet time doing. But when his eyes did reboot, he found himself staring at something he wasn't expecting: the ceiling.

He had anticipated that he would just wake up in the link chamber, or his brain would fry. The latter hadn't happened, so he put the pieces together and deduced that his was still in his avatar body, his nerve braid still tangled in the back of the machine. Summing up the strength to move, he squeezed his arm that hadn't been gnawed on into the round opening, and slowly pulled out the black hair from the machine. The nerve tendrils had let go when he was out, so he freed himself relatively easily and managed to scoot out of the contraption.

As he feel to his knees from weakness, and turned around to see if any damage had been done to the linker itself, he found something a little disheartening.

"It stopped spinning." he stated to himself, still only half-awake. He wasn't sure exactly how the thing worked, but Max Patel, the scientist in charge of the avatar science team back at Hell's Gate, did once explain to him that the centrifugal force created by the spinning of the psionic link chamber somehow amplified his human brain's psionic output, which created a practical range in which to use the avatars. The thing probably broke when the transfer sequence messed up, and now on top of everything else, he had a crippled link chamber, and his avatar range was probably pathetically small now.

"Well, at least I'm alive." he said as he rubbed his head in a feeble attempt to rid his headache, and stood, watching for the low ceiling. "I've had way too much shit happen to me today. Gonna get into the avatar bed, do the manual jackout there, and face the rest of my life tomorrow."

"Oh God, and I destroyed half the lab." he grumbled, throwing his hand up as he saw how much damage he had done in his attempts to escape the linker in time.

Gritting his teeth from the pain, he slowly stood up, his legs buckling. Picking up the medical kit as he went, he limped over to the door, crammed into the space, and once again got a face full of depressurizing gasses. The outer door clicked, and he hobbled outside, but not before closing the door on his tail. Again.

A horrible hiss escaped from his lips, and he quickly opened the door before his tail got snapped in half.

Lifting the appendage up to his face, the lower part that had been slammed was now bruised and dark purple.

"Of course." he said flatly.

Bill did the half-lap around the station to the avatar's side, and the direhorse was still there, staring stupidly in front of it. He was beginning to think perhaps there were slim pickings when O'Tey had to choose a direhorse, because if its eyes were any indicator, there wasn't anything going on up there in that gargantuan critter.

He walked up the metal steps to the door, oversized for his avatar form. He sat the medkit down and opened the door with his good arm. The metal seal slowly creaked open, and he picked his medkit back up and went inside, and set it down again.

Deciding it would be easier to just treat his avatar while it was not in use as opposed to trying to apply field medicine to himself right then and there, and lazily moved over the avatar bed, laid down, and located the manual ejection button, which was situated on the wall just to the right of the bed. Like the big red button on every psonic linker, the one in this room worked immediately, and as soon as he pressed it, he'd be back in his human form, and in considerably less physical torment. Sighing, Bill reached over and with a little hesitation, pushed the large button as he closed his eyes.

_Tick._

Bill opened his eyes, and he was still in the avatar room, in his large blue body. Frowning slightly, he clicked the button again.

_Tick._

A very annoyed expression appeared on Bill now, as he began showing the button no mercy.

_Ticktick__tick__tick__tick__tick__tick__tick__tick__tick__tick__tick__tick__tick__tick__tick._

"Oh, great. That's busted too. I swear technology degrades by my mere presence." he remarked, putting a hand on his face.

"Looks like I'm going to have to do this the old-fashioned way." he mumbled, as he closed his eyes again. It had been a very long couple of days for him, and he was feeling tired. When he went to sleep, he'd wake up in his human body. Crude, but it'd have to do. The blood loss that had been inflicted on him helped, and pretty soon his found himself drifting away from the tiled room, and sleep overtook him.

His dreams included but were not limited to strangling the CEO of the RDA, getting chased by a back of viperwolves with rocket launchers, and watching Paul Bunyan wage war on the Na'vi with the help of his axe and ox.

Bill woke up once again staring at the white ceiling of the unpressurized avatar room. It was nighttime outside now, and the bioluminescence of the forest looked like a Christmas display back on Earth. Now Bill was worried; he should have jumped back into his human body as soon as he lost consciousness, and he was starting suspect that something was awry. Jumping up and grunting from the pain of the sudden movement, he stormed out the avatar side of the station and stomped his way around to the normal side. First door, gasses, second door, click. The giant chemist doddered over to the link chamber, with one final solution in mind, and it had to work.

Pressing in the override sequence on the HUD, with great difficulty since his huge fingers often pressed several keys at a time, he put in the password to open the link bed, which would violently sever the link, but he didn't have much of a choice. Inputting the final letter, a snap came from the machine, and the top part of the opened slightly, but nothing happened. He scooted over to the psionic coffic, and flung the top lip open. He then placed a hand on his mouth, muffling a scream as he recoiled from the bed at what he saw.

It was his human body, but something was wrong. Human Bill was pale as snow, and his mouth was slightly agape. His limbs looked stiff too, and there was no movement to indicate breathing, or even a heartbeat. Avatar Bill had to make sure though, and he reached out at touched the neck of the pale body. It was cool, and there was no indication of a pulse. Human Bill was dead, and had been dead for several hours.

His legs gave way from the shock, and he slid back against the wall, slowly sliding down to his bottom. For the longest time, he simply stared out into space and tried to convince himself that he was still asleep, that this was also some sort of horrible nightmare following Paul Bunyan's conquest of Pandora, but in the back of his mind he knew what had happened, as much as tried to deny it.

He blinked, once.

On top all the things that happened to him recently, he now was forever stuck in a genetically engineered blue body definitely not suited to the tiny lab he inhabited. His brain overflowing from grief, anger, vertigo, and rage, he did what any rational person would.

Bill dragged himself over to the TV, selected a random comedy from the screen with the undersized remote (for him), and watched it seven times in a row.

* * *

As he watched and heard unfunny joke after lame pun for the the umpteenth time, he grunted and turned off the television. Scooting over to the webcam of his computer, he flicked the switch with one if his huge blue fingers, and stared into the camera as tried to detail his new lot of life, sitting down all the while to be even level with the recorder.

_Date...I don't care._

_You may be wondering why I'm in my avatar body, in this side of the station, and I'll be blunt. My human body's, um, dead. Deader than dead guy at a dead convention in Deaduary._

Very weak laughter slipped out of Bill, and he continued.

"_I don't know exactly what happened, but story short is that I tripped, got stuck in the linker, and then got a huge shock. Checked up on my human body; no pulse and it's cold as ice. I'm stuck like this._

Bill was trying very heard to keep from bursting into tears. He forced a small smile, and his voice began slightly lighter.

"_But hey. Now I don't have to worry about not having the range to get my avatar to Hell's Gate. I'm going to sleep now. Will formulate game plan, tomorrow. Too depressed to do anything now."_

He turned off the camera, stood up, and promptly punched the glass window next to his computer, cracking the glass. His human body was dead, what did he care?

Bill slid against the desk, totally drained. It was dawn now, and the golden sun of Alpha Centauri slid through the canopy of the forest, illuminating the shack. The sunshine felt nice, and was probably his the only mercy he had received in a long time. He nodded off, his head falling to the side.

If the AVTR Program was a person, he would shoot them. That more or less describes what he dreamed about.


	7. Chapter 7: Seek and Seek

_Beepbeepbeepbeeep!_

Bill's giant yellow eyes fluttered opened as he was woken up by a shrill sounds of warning klaxons, and the bright orange emergency lights blinking throughout the lab. When he was asleep, the crack he made in the glass window let the poisonous atmosphere of Pandora gradually seep in, contaminating the compartment with air that would make his human body feel like its lungs were being dipped in rubbing alcohol.

"_Beepbeepbeepbeep!" _the warning system whined, continuing its futile attempt to alert any alive human inhabitants of the station.

"Yeah, yeah, I know." Bill groaned as he tried to stretch, being partly thwarted by his small living quarters. Tuning out the high-pitched cries of the alarm, he crawled to his feet and into a slight crouching position, watching out not the bump his head on the ceiling. He looked around his former oxygen-enriched home, thinking of what to do next. The neurotic researcher went through the checklist of all the things that had gone wrong recently.

-He had been abandoned by the RDA, who stopped showing up about five months ago.

-He tried to contact them, but his radio broke.

-His avatar was half-eaten by a Thanator.

-Oh, can't forget the fact that his human body was now _dead_.

Bill was still struggling to find a reason as to why both of his bodies hadn't got fried in the process, and as he did, a small ray of hope appeared in his desperation. Hell's Gate! It was a long shot, but if he could get there and talk to the avatar team, they might be able to reverse the process; Dr. Patel was a pretty smart guy. Hell, maybe Grace would know what to do. Since he was no longer bound by the normal range of his avatar, he could get there without having to lug an exopack with him as a human, and be a prime target for predators.

"Only question is...how?" he asked, tapping the desk his computer sat on, towering over it. He could walk there, but Hell's gate was some ninety miles from his station and wandering around Pandora without detailed knowledge of the land was asking the wilderness to murder you. He didn't know how to ride the direhorse, and even if he did, he was pretty sure that it was about as smart as the soil it was still standing on, not having moved an inch since yesterday.

"O'Tey!" Bill declared, his eyes going wide. He had saved the life of the Na'vi when it the Thanator pinned him to the ground, and then through a fluke, killed it. The alien gave him that direhorse as some means of repayment, which Bill had hurriedly accepted as he was just wanted to get back at the time. While he knew such a gift was very important, he still figured he could cash in the rest of the debt the Na'vi owed him, which would be safe passage to Hell's Gate.

Only problem? He didn't know anything about O'Tey. Where he lived, where he hunted, what clan he belonged to, or ways Bill could contact him. All he had was a face and name, which didn't mean much out in the seemingly endless expanses of jungle.

"Find him, call in favor, get to Hell's Gate. Sounds like a plan." he said, and began packing things he'd need for a quick journey out into the jungle. The doctor did have one, and only one, lead: a small Na'vi village only a few kilometers from his station, next to a small river. It was highly unlikely O'Tey lived there, but Bill intended to ask the residents if any of them had heard of the hunter, and where he was from. That is, assuming, that they didn't impale with arrows once he got within fifty meters of their home.

The alarm was getting on his nerves now. He considered killing the power to the station to shut it off, but he wasn't ready to abandon the lab yet. He still had to find O'Tey, and until he did that, this was his forward base, albeit one about five sizes too small. The avatar went of the supplies in his backpack before heading out: 10 bottles of water, and that was it. He never really used the backpack in the first place, preferring to use his multi-pocketed vest to carry most of the equipment for his research, but effective yesterday, science had been put at the very bottom of the list 'o priorities. He slipped the large yellow backpack on and fastened the straps, cursing as he realized of them wouldn't tighten, so he'd have to settle with carrying the thing on one shoulder, the one that had gotten bit.

He took one large step toward the exit, his pointed ears flattening at the close sound of the siren as he once again crammed himself in the two spaces, but the pressure-equalizing gasses didn't show, as the cracked window had already done that, permanently. The determined doctor left the outside door open as he walked down the metal steps to his lab.

When the biosphere wasn't acting like a total rear end, raining pain and sorrow down on the poor man, it was actually a very pleasant place. The banshees were barely audible, with only a few low squawks emanating from the nearby rookery, located on one of the floating mountains near Bill's base, and it the breeze felt nice. As a plus, the air didn't make him want him to cough up a lung, like it did normally on Pandora (and back in London). Heading due west, and having nothing better to do, Bill began talking to himself again.

"How much you bet they kill me? I'm taking bets, collectible by my corpse! 2:1 arrows, 5:1 stabbed in the face, 10:1 they sic a viperwolf on me!" he said in a mock-circus ringmaster voice, as he continued to try and lighten possible grim scenarios with dark humor.

"I could get lucky and have a Leonopteryx eat me on the way there. I've become dead-set in the belief that I'm being targeted by this planet anyway, so meeting my end by bright-orange flying death machine doesn't seem that farfetch'd."

Pushing some leaves aside, he found the river that the village was located along, a little ways downstream. Lining himself up with the river, he walked along the bank. Of all the places on Pandora, the rivers were probably one of the safest places to be. There were predators in the water, but there were none documented that even posed a threat to the humans, let alone the Na'vi. It was also a source of fresh water, which would explain the village. Bill had tried to talk to them once, asking them where a certain kind of rare plant grew, and their village leader just told him to leave. That was six months ago, maybe their attitude towards dreamwalkers had improved in the meantime? Although he technically wasn't one anymore, since his human body was taking a perpetual nap, only without the body heat or the breathing.

The village was still a good thirty minute's walk from where he was, so whistling was next up on his things to do to pass the time. He started with 'From the Shores of Tripoli' and ended playing out the tune for 'Civilization', and oddly appropriate song, all things considered.

He could see a bend in the river coming up, and knew he was getting close. Coming around, he saw the village up ahead, and could just barely make out some of the villagers, going about their daily tasks. He picked up the pace, going into full stroll as he continued to whistle, forgetting that the long, pointed ears of the Na'vi weren't just for show. The doctor's high notes were cut short when he heard a loud shout come from the village, and several of the cyan figures took off into the forest. Bill became suspicious, and he progressed towards the camp with a slowed pace. He took a few more steps and stopped, seriously contemplating whether he should turn back. Those shouts didn't seem friendly, but had yet to see any Na'vi warriors running at him with staffs and knives, so it probably wasn't directed at him. They could've seen a dangerous animal near the village, or an argument was happening. He shrugged.

"Guess it was n-" he managed to say before his legs suddenly stiffened, and faceplanted into the gravelly riverbank. He squirmed to get back up, but his legs wouldn't separate, and he tried to push them apart, he could feel that it was rope that was pulling them together. Having figured out that he had just been hit with a Na'vi bounding projecticle, Bill strained bend his knees and clawed at the rope to free himself.

As he was about to lift one leg out, he heard a cry and looked up to the right just in time to see a very angry-looking Na'vi swing a club in his face. It smashed into his face, knocking his face upward as a galaxy of stars erupted into Bill's line of sight. His peripheral vision went kaput, and his remaining eyesight formed a tunnel that slowly closed as his head hit the ground. A few seconds before the tunnel closed, he could see other natives gathering around the one that had hit him, all staring at the downed avatar.

He woke up to find himself tied to a pole, Lady Unluck once again topping herself and giving Bill the finger. He was in the middle of the village, and there it looked like everyone in town turned out for whatever they were going to do to him.

"_Um...hello. Any of you seen O'Tey?" _he asked in Na'vi. Not the most diplomatic introduction, but really needed to find that guy. The villagers looked at each other, confused. Okay, scratch nearby village off the list.

An older Na'vi wearing more ornate clothing that was standing in front of the rest walked up to the captured avatar, looking down on him with great contempt. He was tall, even for a Na'vi. It was the village leader, the same one that had told to leave the first time.

"_Did I not tell you to never come back here?" _he asked, his eyes narrowing.

Bill laughed nervously. _"Yes, yes you did. But I do have an excuse! A good one, too! I just came here to ask if a man named O'Tey l-"_

The village leader lifted up a hand and bonked Bill on the head, forcing an 'Ow!' out of him.

"_I'll not hear your lies or you excuses. Why did you come back here? I want the truth."_ he said, placing emphasis on 'truth'.

Bill had two choices. He could either A.) lie as to why he had come back, but their leader seemed like a guy who was very good at picking out deception, and Bill had a feeling in his gut that the massive alien would do a lot more than hit him on the head if he told a fib, or B.) tell them the truth, would be be more outlandish and strange than any lie he could think up. He went with B.

He started with the poison arrow incident, which caused a more few laughs from some of the members of the crowd, especially the children. He went into deeper detail over his attackers, hoping that one of the villagers may recognize the features of O'Tey and his son, but nobody interrupted him to say that they had. The story of his encounter with the Thanator came next, citing his wounded arm as proof of the encounter. He changed its death to falling off a cliff instead of eating grenades. But he got the most quizzical looks (and laughs) when he told how one misplaced foot ended up imprisoning him in his avatar body.

When he was done, the village leader, still looking very skeptical, extended one finger and touched him in the cheek.

"_You are telling us, and expect us to believe_," he began, "_that this is your true body now? That you are now one of the people?"_

"_It was an accident, and one I sincerely hope I can reverse."_ Bill explained. The Na'vi leader's eyes began to narrow again. "_Yes! The answer is yes, just please let me go!"_

The village leader gazed at Bill with a venomous glare for the longest time, and then turned around walked toward a hut.

"_Release him. I wish to talk to the alien. In private."_ he said as he entered pushed aside a flap and went inside. The warrior that had been guarding Bill since he had been tied to the pole took out a knife and cut the ropes on Bill's wrists and legs, freeing him. The warrior pointed toward the hut.

"_Go." _he uttered, probably severely disappointed that he didn't get to disembowel the alien that dared set foot on their territory.

Bill quickly shooed off toward the hut, the villagers making way as they began to whisper among themselves.

"Shit, man," he thought. "I just wanted directions!"


	8. Chapter 8: Unorthodox Exile

_Merry Holidaymas to all, and to all an S&S update!_

* * *

If there was one thing Bill was good at, it wasn't waiting; waiting for the village leader to say something. At the moment, he was glancing down at a fire, poking the embers with a stick, not even acknowledging the doctor's presence. The elder evidently liked Bill enough to not have the village keelhaul him, but why he just didn't banish Bill from their land again was anyone's guess. Bill's butt began to hurt from the sitting, and he really needed to get going, so he tried to get conversation rolling so he could leave sooner.

"_Thank you for not killing me." _he said. Best ice-breaker _ever._

The chieftan continued to ignore him, preferring to stir around the smoking ember of the center fireplace. Bill heard noises behind him, and turned around just in time too see several catlike faces dart of of view. Living what in what essentially was a giant Eden was probably very nice, but also had the probable side effect of being very boring. This is probably the strangest thing that had happened the little settlement since his last visit, except this time their leader was talking to the strange alien.

Sort of.

"_Your story,"_ the leader said, lifting his head and looking straight ahead, as if he was talking to himself, "_I've heard a similar song."_

Bill did tilted his head a bit, not quite understanding what was said. Was his Na'vi really that rusty? He studied back on Earth and occasionally watched that refresher video when he was bored, but he couldn't be that far gone, not to mention t-

"Huh?" he blurted out reflexively. Similar song? The hell did that mean? Did someone else get systematically singled out for a series of cosmic jokes that he should know about? The Na'vi leader picked up on his confusion.

"_I have heard news of another one of your kind, who had become one of the people, but not by accident." _the wrinkled leader said.

"What." escaped Bill. No, seriously, what? Someone else got trapped in their avatar body? There were several things wrong with this, leading Bill to think that maybe the leader needed to stop visiting the medicine man. To get your head trapped in a psionic converter, he thought, and then be violently disconnected without causing horrific and permanent nerve damage to _both_ of the bodies was next to impossible; you'd be more likely to get hit with a meteor made of winning lottery tickets while being struck by lightning. Bill's survival was a miracle, even though only one of the bodies survived.

"_I'm sorry, you must be mistaken. This has never happened to any of my kind. Ever." _he said. Immediately he regretted his words, as the corrected leader finally looked over to Bill, frowning. He stared at the avatar for a few seconds, then went back to poking the embers.

"_Believe what you want." _

This chat was already starting to drag on, and he really had to get going if he was going to find O'Tey.

"_So, is that what you wanted to talk to me? To tell me a rumor?" _he asked, secretly hoping the answer would be 'yes' so he could just get the hell out of there.

"_No."_ the leader said, standing up. "_I wanted you ask you a very simple question." _he said as he slowly walked over, crouched, and leaned into Bill's face.

"_Why are you still here?" _he asked with a slight snarl.

"What?" Bill replied stupidly. He quickly rebounded with a more adequate answer.

"_I'm not sure I understand the question." _he answered again. The Na'vi leader hit him in the forehead with the palm of his hand. As Bill's eyes darted around as he tried to find an answer that would satisfy the leader, the Na'vi's eyes widened a little, his expression phasing from contempt and impatience to slight bewilderment.

"_You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?" _he mumbled, close enough for Bill to hear. He most certainly didn't, and he was still was searching for an answer to the first question.

"_To answer the first question"_, Bill said, hoping he wouldn't be interrupted by another small tap to the head, _"I'm looking for a man named O'Tey. I need him to find my way back to my people, and he's the only one I know who can help me. Unless...one of your hunters could take me back?"_

Another soft strike to the forehead and the leader's face went right back to contempt. "_We do not help aliens! Especially ones who don't know where they are not welcome!" _he spat.

"_Sorry I asked. I still don't understand your second question though. Is there something you know I don't? I have been out here a very long time."_

An evil grin stretched across the craggy face of the leader, and a deep laughing began to fill the room. It didn't help that Na'vi have huge canines, either, making it seem like Bill had suddenly been transported into one of the horror movies he watched last Halloween.

"_They are gone." _

Who's gone? Did O'Tey's clan get attacked by rabid fan lizards or something?

Bill hesitated. He took a breath, and knowing he wasn't going to like the answer, replied:

"_They?"_

"_Your people."_

Bill did a triple take. His mind scrambled for a response, and the best he could come up with was, 'Huh?'.

"_Your kind. The _faketuan_!Sky People! Some of the most reliable messengers from the clans have given us news that your people have retreated back to the heavens, and yet here you are, left behind. How does that feel?" _he said, smiling at his own rhetorical question.

The RDA was...gone? Unless the Na'vi around here just knocked up a small outpost thinking it was the main human encampment, Bill had no reason to think that the leader was deceiving him, but at the same time, why in the name of everything would the RDA abandon mining operations on Pandora? There was enough Unobtanium on the planet to sustain mining operations for a century yet the RDA leaving the planet would explain their total disappearance from Bill's life. The megacorporation could've been overrun, but that would mean a neolithic civilization and unorganized fauna attacking and defeating an army that enough munitions stockpile to start a fourth world war. The corporation was run by soulless suits, sure, and they never listened to a thing that science team had to say, but they were his only ticket back home, damnit! They couldn't be gone!

Bill scrambled to his feet, shaking. He pointed a finger at the leader, his left eye slightly twitching.

"_Y-You're lying!" _he screamed as he ran out of the hut. He bumped into a few of the villagers on the way out, but none of them tried to stop him. A few begin to pursue him, but as they began running after him, the leader stepped out of his hut and put up a hand.

"_Don't." _he stated as he saw the panicked doctor run into the thick leaves, vanishing from sight. A female Na'vi, his daughter, turned to him as soon as Bill had been engulfed by the jungle, having overheard their little talk.

"_Is it true? They Sky People are gone?" _she asked.

"_I don't know. Maybe." _he shrugged, smiling.

Her mouth dropped open. _"You lied?" _

"_He won't be bothering us again, will he?"_

Even though Bill was well in the shrubbery now, he still heard the roaring laughter of the natives behind him. Probably laughing at the moronic, abandoned dreamwalker. At this point, Bill didn't have a game plan anymore; he didn't get an adequate answer as to where to find O'Tey, and he had a feeling that a third trespassing into the village would not turn out in his favor. Completely lost now, his only current mindset was to tear through the jungle at raw speed until he could think of something. Once the initial shock from being left to die on a jungle planet wore off, a new kind of calamity settled in his mind: he was lost. Absolutely, undeniably lost. His already fragile psyche went into a state of panic once again and he darted around, looking in vain for his linkup station.

He chose a direction and went into a sprint. Night came to blanket the planet, prompting Bill to search even harder, by running faster. If he was in a more stable state, he would have notice the undergrowth of the forest slowly dissipating and the large, tree-like object growing larger with each step he took. As it grew big enough to fill his entire vison, Bill took a split second to consider what it was, and then it hit him.

Or rather, he hit it.

Send backwards and landing on his back, he got better view. It was one of the Hometrees of the Na'vi, a regular skyscraper of a plant. Bill would've been more appreciative of his newfound luck, but the blow to his noggin from his impact with the _Kelutrel_ wasn't helping him.

"Tree!" he shouted in a giddy voice. His eyes closed, and his head fell to the side.


	9. Chapter 9: Bad Idea

Bill didn't have much going for him right now; he was lost, he was never going to find O'Tey, he had been knocked out more times than he cared to remember, and he was at the mercy of an entirely different set of Na'vi. On the off-chance that they were friendly, he'd still probably never find the linkup station again.

"I'm going to die out here." he groaned softly, recovering from his encounter with the tree. The doctor became very aware of the dull, pounding pain where his skull had hugged the Hometree and silently wondered to himself exactly how crazy with fear he was last night. The forest was bright with lights, and yet he still managed hit the thing. Speaking if which, where was he now? He clearly remembered hitting the tree, and then sent backwards into the grass, and then konking out. Bill wasn't laying on grass now, it felt more like...wood? He had been moved! Before he could do anything else, he heard two people talking very close to him, and he pretended to still be asleep so he could hear on their conversation. He bet what remaining worldly possessions he had that they were arguing whether to kill him now, or later.

"_It couldn't be him."_ the first voice said, female in tone, and sounding very suspicious.

"_He's wearing the same strange clothes they described. He even has the scar!" _the second, younger voice replied, also female.

"_They all wear the same thing! I want you to toss him out of here tomorrow, before your father gets back, and this is final!" _the first voice argued back, and suddenly Bill barely opened one eye to verify what she meant: he was inside the Hometree. One of the levels above the ground, evidently, as he could see the huge spiral that went up the trunk of every plant of its kind. He then saw his two captors arguing right over him. From the looks of it, mother and daughter. He was still considering the words of the younger one, which made it seem like he was known. A small ray of hope appeared; maybe, against all odds, he had found the place where O'Tey lived? He saw the older Na'vi walk off, leaving the daughter looking very frustrated. Bill closed his eye again and tried his best to fake a coma, but still felt two huge eyes looking right into him.

"_I know you're awake." _she said.

Bill continued his false sleep, and felt a small pebble bounce against his head.

"_You can stop pretending now."_

Bill reopened one of his eyes, and saw the Na'vi sitting down next to him, arms folded. He slowly sat up, trying not to draw attention to himself. He did a mediocre job at best, as quite a few of the natives in the tree turned their heads to watch the alien wake up, but quickly went back to their tasks when the Na'vi sitting next to him did a shooing motion towards the spectators.

Bill was feeling redundant. _"Where am I?"_ he asked, already knowing the answer. Still, with way things had been going for him, he could very well have died, and this was Hell.

"_Inside the Kelutral_ _of my clan."_

Right, no surprise there.

"_Second question. Why didn't you all just kill me when you had the chance?" _he asked.

"_We were going to.", _she said, looking serious, "_If I hadn't stopped them, they would have stabbed you in the brain and tossed you into the river."_

Yikes. So this was the second person to whom he technically owed his life. Bill really considered starting a list. He was confused though; why save him? The doctor had basically just barged on their home and left a small forehead-shaped indentation in the side of their sacred home, so it was understandable they would want blood. A lot of it.

She sensed his next question, and picked up his scarred arm, which had been bound together in discarded pieces of clothing and leather as a makeshift cast. It wasn't bandages and gauze, but it helped.

"_Your arm. A man from a nearby clan named O'Tey came here a few days ago, and spoke of a brave warrior who saved his life. He said he wore strange clothes, and has a bitten arm."_

O'Tey!? Bill immediately turned, and grabbed the Na'vi.

"_He's here!? Where? I need to find him right now, it's imp-" _he managed to say to the female before he found himself being tackled by a couple of locals who had seen him grab of them drew a knife, but she calmly put a hand on the hunter's wrist, and he sheathed it. She leaned into Bill, still pinned to the ground in a chokehold from one of the other guards.

"_So you do know him._" she said, grinning. She motioned one of the Na'vi to let him go, and Bill gasped for air with his nearly crushed windpipe.

"Yeah," he replied, "_I saved his life from a Thanator_. Uh_, a Palalukan. Listen, thank you for saving my life and everything, but do you know where I can find him? Does he live here?"_

"_O'Tey belongs to another clan, quite far from here."_

Great. _"Any idea when he'll return?"_

"_We sent for him a few days ago, to see if you really are the one who saved him. He should be here tomorrow."_

A few days? He must of hit the tree a lot harder than he thought. But, that was shadowed by his growing ray of hope; O'Tey was arriving tomorrow, and with the Na'vi's help he'd be able to get back to Hell's Gate. All Bill would have to endure in return is one night with natives, which actually sounded kind of nice. He tried to stand up, but the female Na'vi pushed him back down.

"_No, you'd just hurt yourself._ _You should be dead, if your scars mean anything."_ she added.

Bill laid his head down. In all honestly, he didn't feel like moving much. He could attribute that to the sheer amount of physical abuse he had suffered combined with his unwillingness to go anywhere knowing something horrible would happen to him. As he lay there, he went over the game plan one more time:

Find O'Tey. Semi-check. He was coming tomorrow, and that Na'vi still owed him big.

Have O'Tey escort him back to Hell's Gate. It would require a lot of walking, but he'd talking walking over being mauled by a Thanator or nearly killed by an arrow any day.

Find Max. Dr. Patel was one of they key figures of the AVTR Program, and the lead scientist in charge of the biological aspect of the avatars. If he could explain what had happened, and have them bring his human body back to the base, a consciousness transfer might still be possible.

Then the words of the village leader came back to him. He had said the humans had left Pandora, abandoning him. Were that true? If so, his little adventure to Hell's Gate would be for nothing, and he'd be spending the rest of his life here. Not a very appealing fate. Pandora was beautiful, but only at a distance, as Bill had found out the hard way. If he wanted to avoid a death with pointy teeth, he had to get off this rock. The old bat had to have been lying. The alternative was too painful to even begin to consider.

"_Do you know of a village next to a small stream, not far from here?" _Bill asked.

"_Yes..."_ she said, confused.

"_What about their leader?"_

She laughed. "_Tawkay? He's an old friend of my father! He's so funny; likes to tell all kinds of silly lies and stories. He once went on about how he brought down a Yerik with a toothpick."_

She tilted her head. "_Do you know him?"_

"So the old fart was lying!" he thought, "He lied just chase me off!"

"_We've met." _Bill said, adding 'kill Tawkay' as an optional step in the game plan. A call came from below, and the female craned her head toward the sound.

"_Coming!" _she called back. Before the descended down the spiral, she turned to Bill to give him one last bit of advice, the same that O'Tey had given him.

"_Don't move."_

"I wasn't planning to, but okay." he muttered as she ran down the wooden corkscrew.

Now what? He couldn't get a very good gauge of time from inside the Tree as it had no windows, but there was enough light inside to indicate it was still daytime. If O'Tey was coming tomorrow, that meant that Bill still had about 26 hours to kill, and he intended to follow his savior's directions and not move from the reed mat he had been placed on. Sighing, he tried to relax and go back to sleep. He could still feel a few pair of eyes watching him, but he didn't care at this point. Stranger in a strange land though he may be, Bill wouldn't be bothering them much longer. They could put up with him for one more day. He rolled over to his side and went back to napping.

He woke up a little later to an irritating tugging of his pocketed coat.

"Go away." he grunted in English, his eyes still closed.

The tugging continued, and then stopped as he felt one of the pockets being opened on his jacket. _Nobody_ touches the jacket. He shot up, and saw a small Na'vi child playing with a small LED flashlight. Okay, almost nobody. He wasn't about to snatch the thing out the little guy's hands, and plus, he may neurotic and mildly antisocial, but he wasn't an ass. The kid was showing it to his playmates now, and one of them figured out that the little button on the side made it light up. This caused infinite amusement to them, and they ran off with it, giggling. Bill sighed and laid back down.

"Whatever. I'm my own flashlight at night anyway." he said. The theft did remind him to check the rest of his pockets though, and he sat up once more to lay out the contents. He had lost all his syringes when he had been shot the the arrow, for starters, and had one of his specialty molotovs left. He also found a pair of scissors, magnifying glasses, an old pamphlet of the _ISV Frontier Star, _a digital camera, a melted chocolate bar, and a butane lighter, plus an old arrowhead had found on the ground once. He organized his belongings into a neat row and having nothing better to do, started to read the little booklet describing the general mission of the Frontier Star, the spaceship he ridden on for his trip to Pandora.

"_The ISV Frontier Star is the newest in a line of ISV transports built to blah blah blah..." _he mumbled, already becoming bored with the pamphlet and dropping it the the ground. Then, he hit himself in the head for his own stupidity. The camera! He was inside a Hometree of the Na'vi, a once-in-a-lifetime happening, as they almost never let avatars anywhere near them. Snatching it up and pressing the power button, he began to take dozens of pictures of his surroundings with the arm that wasn't in a primitive cast, getting more than a few strange looks from the inhabitants of the tree as he pointed the camera towards then and the shutter would close. When he got back to Hell's Gate with these pictures, the RDA would probably sell them to some media company and Bill would get _so_ much in royalties.

But, he could only get so many good pictures from his one spot. He looked around for any sign of the female Na'vi, and slowly and painfully rose to his feet. What she didn't know wouldn't hurt her, right? It hurt him though, as each step felt like a bomb going off in his spinal column. The few Na'vi around him kept him under a close watch as he slowly made a circle around the tree's spiral, taking high-resolution shots.

"_What are you doing?" _one of them eventually called out. This alien was just meandering about their home, probably using his magic to poison the tree, and yet the elder said not to harm him unless he tries to hurt one of them? It was ridiculous!

"Oh!" Bill said, blindsided by the question, "_I am..." _he trailed off. How was he going to explain to them how a camera worked, and why he wanted these pictures? He could think up some lie about how he's a shaman for the humans doing shaman stuff, but that was stupid, even for him.

"Uh..."

"To hell with it." he said aloud. He'd just show them what the camera did. He walked up to the Na'vi who asked him the question and spent the next thirty minutes showing him the pictures he had taken, laying out in simple words that his people wanted the "memories" of the tree. To prevent outrage, he assured the natives that no harm was being done to the tree as he continued to sort through each photographs of the tree along with every other picture he had ever taken, as he'd never bothered to delete anything.

A small crowd began to gather around him as he showed them pictures of himself as a human, right after he had gotten off the Valkyrie, and his first encounter with Quaritch. He quickly went through the five or six photos showing the push-ups the Colonol forced him to do, and one taken of him in the plastic bed of one of the linkbeds of Hell's Gate, giving the thumbs up as he was about to undergo his first avatar transfer. The next few pictures of him were taken by one of the scientists in the avatar compound, showing Bill's empty avatar awaken, sit up, and have a few cognition tests done on him and a final one of giving another thumps up, all the while in a medical gown.

The next picture was always Bill's favorite: An ensemble of most of the science team, taken outdoors with the jungle as a backdrop. Most of the members of the AVTR team were in their avatars, and the rest were wearing exopacks. The avatars towered over the puny humans, who barely came up to their waists. Bill was standing slightly to the side, bending to give rabbit ears to one of the human researchers. Most of the pictures after that were of the creatures of Pandora, the majority of them taken years ago. As he continued the to cycle through each, explaining as he went, the lady Na'vi from earlier made her way back up the spiral to check up on him, finding him at the center of attention.

"_There is a funny story behind this picture," _he said as he pointed out the photo of a growling viperwolf, "_because it wasn't growling at me, b-"_

"_What did I tell you?" _he heard a familiar voice say.

Oh damn, caught out of the crib.

"_I'm feeling better!" _Bill exclaimed, lying like a dog. It was nice that he was entertaining the Na'vi with some pictures of the local wildlife, but it didn't help that his arm was still broken and still in a lot of pain.

She told everyone gathered around Bill to leave him alone, and the crowd slowly scattered.

"_Why did you have to ruin my fun?"_ he asked.

"_You're going to reopen that arm and die. Sit. Still." _she said as she slowly backed away from Bill, keeping an eye on him to make sure he wouldn't move, and went down the massive center of the tree.

"Well, now what?_" _Bill thought. That Na'vi apparently had some authority, because now none of the others would come anywhere near him. Shame, he was actually enjoying the company. For the past nine months, the only people he held conversations with were himself or his webcam, and the former was usually a pain in the ass to talk to. He scooted himself against the splintery walls of the behemoth megaplant and relaxed.

Before he knew it, he had nodded off while sitting. Instead of a dream, his brain just replayed an old episode of a soap opera he had seen once, except all the dialogue had been switched from English to Na'vi. Just about to find out why Frank had left Gloria for her evil twin sister, he found himself being shaken out of his his dubbed drama. He looked upward to look for whoever had interrupted his soaps, only to find the person was standing next to him, eye-level. It was a child, the same one who had stolen his flashlight earlier.

"_Here,"_ he said, holding it toward him, _"Tintiya told me to give it back."_

So _that_ was her name. It was getting kind of awkward to refer to her as 'that Na'vi lady' to himself all the time. He waved a hand at the tyke dismissively.

"_Keep it."_

Not realizing just how much the gadget meant to the little one, the Na'vi child got in close to Bill hugged him, thanking him multiple times before running off. It wasn't exactly a pure act of charity; he could just get another at Hell's Gate. Why, they had probably come out with a new version by now, with detachable chainsaw and grappling hook!

He had been in dream/rerunland for quite some time, as he could clearly see the orange tint of evening inside the tree. Everyone on his level of the tree seemed to be gone. Suppertime, he figured. If that was the case, he figured he'd do a bit of exploring and more than a bit more photographing. He picked up his camera and made his made his way toward the helix center. He scanned the area a few times before heading up. No sign of Tintiya. Good.

He hopped to the first ledge, landing perfectly on the huge branch. If there was one thing his avatar body had, it was dexterity. Feeling confident, he hopped to the second, making another fine landing. He continued to make his way up the tree, making carefully placed hops with the top floor being his destination. Bill had always knew that the Na'vi kept their banshees in the canopy of the tree, to reach them more easily. He intended to get a few close-ups, and since these banshees were relatively tame, he didn't think they would try anything against him, especially since he looked like a Na'vi.

Reaching the final step, he jumped to the opening outside, which led to a gargantuan outlying branch, with leaves at the end. The banshee rookery. Readying his camera, Bill slowly stepped outside, already hearing the distinct chirps and chatter of the huge flying mounts. He slowly tip-toed his way right under the dense leaves, and behind them could see the frames of the creatures, moving and communicating with each other. He spotted one more prime for a clearer shot, but as he brought the camera up to his face, Bill made a horrible mistake: he made eye contact with it.

The banshee shrieked, and in one swooping motion flew down to the branch and let out a cry right in Bill's face. He dropped his camera, and watched helplessly as it fell into the green floor below. He looked back to the banshee, who's muzzle was almost touching him. The opening in its chest flared, and it stretching out its wings, screaming again. Bill took off back toward the tree, but tripped on a vine. He would've brushed himself off and kept running, but the fall sent him in a direction most unwanted. The side. He rolled off the massive branch, clawing desperately for another vine to grasp.

"Gonnadiegonnadiegonna_DIE_" his mind raced. Right before going straight off, he did manage to cling to one tiny thread of the tree, and hung on it for dear life.

For all of three seconds.

Not being able to even remotely support his weight, the vine snapped, and Bill's heart sunk like the Titanic on a date with an iceberg. Bill expressed his misfortune in the most eloquent way possible by spewing out every curse word he knew, be it English, Spanish, Japanese, or Na'vi. After he ran out of them, he started to cry, and then came the thud.


	10. Chapter 10: The Place, Not the Song

Dr. Bill Garrison Tabar's life be be summarized as follows: extremely bad luck, directly followed by unfathomably good luck. When he felt the low thud, his falling sensation was suddenly and curiously replaced by a flying one.

"Really?", he thought, "I thought I'd be going the other way."

He opened his eyes, half-expecting to see a halo on his head. There wasn't one. He looked down, and noticed a very pretty pattern of blue. Wait, blue? He couldn't believe it; he handed landed right on top of a banshee in mid-flight. Not wanting to press his fortune, he held on as hard as could as the huge reptilian bird slowly descended to the ground. It wasn't until he looked ahead of him did he find out why he'd landed on a banshee, and even from the back, he knew the rider of the creature that had saved him.

"_O'Tey!" _Bill squealed with joy. The hunter turned to the back of the banshee and gave him a wave, smiling. Now they were technically even, but Bill was still going to ask him to get him back to Hell's Gate. It's not like he had anywhere else to go. The doctor wanted to say more, but he'd wait until he was on solid ground to start jabbering. He felt the banshee flapping its powerful wings for a landing as it gave a high cry when it touched the soil. Nervous system overcome with fear and relief, his fingers let go and he hit the ground with a thump. He shot up as the Na'vi dismounted from the flying noise machine, walked up to Bill, and put a hand on his bad shoulder.

"_Are your days always like this?" _he said, using every bit of willpower he had not to break into maniacal laughter.

"_You have no idea." _Bill replied, putting a palm to his head. _"Listen,_", he continued, "_Before anything else happens, I need to ask you a favor. A very important one."_

"_Anything for you!" _the Na'vi replied happily. So far, so good. He just needed a good, solid 'yes' and he'd be in the clear.

"_I need to go somewhere. Home, where all the humans live."_ he said. He looked around to find his bearings, and pointed in the general direction of Hell's Gate. _"That way. It's a long distance, and I need you to help me get there, as I don't know anything about the land between here and there."_

The Na'vi gave him a look that could only mean "are you serious?", and began to scratch his head. Well, so much for favors. As the hunter was considering Bill's request, several more Na'vi ran into the clearing where the banshee had landed, one of them being Tintiya.

"_Oh, it was _you_." _she said, suddenly not looking that concerned. Bill guessed the entire clan saw his little fight with gravity, and Tintiya must have assumed it was one of the clan members.

"_Sorry to disappoint you?"_

O'Tey turned the the small scouting party and walked toward them. "_This was the dreamwalker I was talking about! His name is Billtabar, and I owe him my life." _he explained to them. He detailed his journey to the huge tree, and how he took his banshee instead of a direhorse, which would be the reason why he had arrived early. Tintiya seemed to believe him, the others didn't. Still, after he finished, the aliens leaned over and looked at Bill, and walked back to the Hometree. They only had kept Bill alive because of a rumor, and were quite glad to be rid of him.

"_Now," _O'Tey said, spinning around to Bill, _"about that favor. I'm afraid I can't walk you back that far. I would be gone for a very long time, and that would mean many hunts missed."_

Not even realizing it, O'Tey had just delivered the metaphorical piledriver to Bill's only hope of escape. His ears drooped, and hung his head down low. "Oh. _Well, thanks. I guess I'll be heading back now." _

"_Wait!" _O'Tey shouted, holding a out a hand. "_I can't walk you there myself, but I have an idea of how you can get there yourself."_

Dr. Tabar perked up a little. "_Whatever it is, I'll do it."_

_

* * *

  
_

"_I'm not doing this!" _Bill shouted at O'Tey as he watched the hunter climb up the vines of the floating rocks. The Na'vi had been kind enough to help the doctor find the link station again (The direhorse was still standing there. O'Tey said he had given Bill the wrong one.), and did something most of the members of the avatar team would kill for: he convinced his clan to let Bill try and tame a banshee. If he could do that, he'd be able to get to Hell's Gate in a very short time. Even after his many near-death experiences, he wasn't going to friggin' climb two hundred stories of flying plants and then wrestle a banshee on the off-chance that he'd survive, learn how to fly it, and then get to Hell's Gate without being shot out of the sky by one of the automated turrets. This was suicide, plain and simple.

"_If you want to get home, this is the only way!" _O'Tey called back. He had a point. Shivering, the doctor grabbed one vine leading up to the first floating rock, and shimmied up it at a snail's pace. O'Tey stood one one of the higher rocks, bewildered at the cowering scientist. He had no problem fighting off a Thanator, yet a little climbing terrified him? It wasn't his place to judge, though, this man _had _saved him and his son, after all. Sensing that Bill was going to take his time, he sat down and waited, admiring the view.

A few hours later, he heard what sounded like grunts of pain behind him. He turned around to see one five-fingered hand grasp the side top part of the rock he was on, with the rest of the body following. Bill heaved himself onto the flat surface, gasping for air.

"Hate...unobtanium...rocks..." he managed to wheeze between breaths. O'Tey walked over to the distressed avatar, and smiled.

"_Good!_ _Now we only have to get up there!" _he said, pointing upwards to a whole new series of rocks, all connected by vines that the doctor would have to climb.

Bill raised his hands in the air. "What did I do to deserve this?" he whined.

As they got higher, Bill went even slower. O'Tey had the patience of a saint, as we would wait for Bill before continuing on ahead. He had to force himself not to look down, and cursed O'Tey for making it look so damn easy, as he was practically dancing from rock to rock. Progress was slow, but each vine the climbed across, the banshee rookery became larger until he was only one rope away from the craggy side of the flying mountain.

O'Tey, who was standing beside Bill went first. Getting a running start, he jumped across the small gap between the rock Bill was standing on and the banshee's home, grabbing some outgrowth on the rock. With the agility of a spidermonkey, he made his way up the face of the cliff until he reached the top.

"_Your turn!" _his voice echoed. There was no turning back now, because that would mean about a kilometer drop. Bill's only way out of this was the leap of faith, or as a greasy spot on the forest floor. The latter didn't sound too appealing, so he took a deep breath, took a few steps back, and ran at full speed towards the edge of the rock. As his foot touched the edge of the cliff, he bent his legs and jumped across the gap, but fell a little short. He didn't manage to hit the same spot as O'Tey, but much lower. He dug his hands into some shrubbery, and looked down.

Bad move. Suddenly he felt dizzy, and could feel his grip on the plants weakening. He shook his head and focused on the matter at hand: kick the crap out of a banshee. It was only a measly climb upwards! He could take it!

Ignoring all reason, the started to search for grooves in the rock, and would lift himself up the mountain inch by inch. Occasionally O'Tey would shout down words of encouragement, like _"concentrate!"_ or "_don't die!"_.

A torturous hour later, Bill found himself on flat rock again. On the way up, he jacket had gotten snagged on a branch, and he had to leave that behind. The sharp, jagged rocks were not kind to his undershirt, either, and that had become little more than ribbons. His backpack had been missing for days, ever since his encounter with the river village. The probably stole it when tying him up. Still, if this went off without a hitch, he'd home free and back at Hell's Gate, (somewhat) safe and sound.

"Okay," he breathed, _"now what?"_

"_Now, you choose your Ikran_._"_

Since O'Tey's clan also had a great disdain for dreamwalkers (and to an extent, O'Tey before Bill had saved him), Bill wasn't really given any advice or equipment for his taming of a banshee. The clan would love nothing more than to hear how the demon met his end from being shredded to pieces. He had seen video documentaries and read stories of how the Na'vi did it, but it was a whole different story being in the dragon's din with the noisy things. As far as he could figure, one of them would attack him, and then he had to fight it. If he could tie his nerve braid to the antennae of the banshee, he'd be golden, or so it worked in theory.

As he made his way to the nest, he turned to O'Tey.

"_If things go badly, are going to help me or anything?"_

"_I'm not allowed to assist you. That's the way it's always been. Don't worry, you'll do fine!"_

"Uh huh."

So his only lifeline isn't even allowed to get him out of there if he loses the wrestling match with the animal three times as big as him. Awesome. Summing up courage he didn't have, he marched up to the vine that led to the main banshee rookery and climbed up it.

The banshee nest was quite typical. The flying creatures darted all around the rocky caves and mesas of the nearby rocks, flying in to feed their young or to guard their territory, screaming at any other banshee that got to close. He slowly walked into the belly of the beast as several of the dragon-like animals began to watch him closely. Most hissed at him and flew off, or they just ignored him altogether. As he made his way around the surface, each banshee he encountered didn't want anything to do with him.

"This is anticlimactic." he said. He was at least expecting one of them to pick a fight, but so far all of them had labeled Bill as an untouchable. He kicked a rock off the flying mountain, and turned around to deliver the news to O'Tey. Risked life and limb for nothing.

About halfway through the rookery, he heard something from behind him. A low, whooshing rumble. It was probably a banshee flying overhead, and he didn't pay it much mind until he heard a shriek from hell just a few feet from him. He whipped around just in time to see the silhouette of a particularly large banshee smack him down, sending him into a rocky wall. He got up and got a good look at his attacker.

This banshee had seen a lot in its life, from what looked like claw marks from a Leonopteryx to the broken-off shaft on arrow lodged in one of its eyes. Its colors were faded too, like a flag that he been left out in the sun too long. The banshee howled again, and lurched toward Bill. He ducked and rolled to the side, causing the banshee to smash its head into solid rock. It reacted to the impact with a low grunt, but seemingly unfazed, turned towards Bill and screeched. It took a few steps forward with the end of its clawed wings, and snapped at the doctor.

Displaying limberness he didn't know he had, Bill dodged the bite and socked it in one of its eyes. It let out a low hiss and Bill took the opportunity to scramble onto its back. He was in the rodeo of the damned now, as the banshee tried everything to throw him off, including rolling over to crush him. As it did, Bill managed to grab his black ponytail and one of the neural whips of the behemoth. He tried to connect them, but was thrown off by a powerful flap backwards. He was sent sliding towards the edge, stopping just short of being send off into the abyss. The old banshee took a few short hops toward him, and opened its mouth to show full rows of extremely sharp teeth. It slammed its jaw shut, and lifted its head to bring down onto Bill, crushing him. Before it got the chance, Bill launched himself at the banshee's head, grabbing one of its antennae and connecting it with the nerve cluster at the end of his hair.

"Now listen!", he shouted at the creature as it instantly went calm, "I've got a long way ahead of me, and I intend to get there as soon as possible. Your bony ass is going to take me where I want to go, and I expect no lip. Got it?"

The creature let out a low growl, but it wasn't a threatening one. It sounded more like an acknowledgment.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." he said, getting up on the neck of the creature. As he was wondering how he was going to fly this massive thing, he saw O'Tey out of this corner of his eye, running up to him.

"_That was incredible! And they all said you'd fall to your death!"_ he said joyfully.

"_So, how do you fly an Ikran?" _he said back, still examining the neural tie between the banshee's antennae and his hair. It still felt weird, and Bill could swear that every movement he made the animal tried to copy.

"_No time to explain. Ride it now, or you'll come up here for nothing!" _he said as he walked up behind the banshee and booted it in the behind, causing the animal to scream and dive off the Thundering Rocks.

**"Scccccrrrrrrewwwwww yoooooooou O'Teeeeeeeeey!"**


	11. Chapter 11: Letdown of the Century

Bill was not born to fly.

His first flight with the banshee boiled down hitting almost every cliff face in the sky, falling, almost getting caught by a Leonopteryx, and finally making a crash landing back at the banshee nest. O'Tey consoled Bill into saying that the first flight is always the hardest, but secretly knew that a dead person could be a better pilot than Bill. Would probably scream less, too.

"_It looks like you don't need me anymore." _he said, turning around and calling out what sounded like a name. A sharp shrill replied, and a few moments later a banshee appeared from the sky, swooping down and landing next to the Na'vi. He jumped up on the back of the creature. _"Good luck, and Eywa be with you." _he shouted, and the creature yelped and took off. As he was leaving the ground, Bill heard him say something under his breath.

"_They are never going to believe this."_

So even O'Tey was riding the bet that Bill would meet his gruesome end out here. Pretending not to have heard it, Bill waved goodbye to the alien. _"Same to you!"_ he yelled as O'Tey's banshee flew into the skies of Pandora. Left to his own devices, Bill's thoughts wandered back to that village leader's words. Tintiya had told him we was a compulsive liar, but he couldn't shake the feeling that he might have been telling the truth, even if he didn't mean to.

"No! Bad Bill! You stop thinking like that!" he said, hitting himself in the head with the palm of his hand a few times. The banshee felt Bill's self-punishment, and screeched in annoyance.

"Oops. Sorry, man." he said to the oversized creature. Looking at the bond between his hair and the antennae of the banshee, that reminded him: this thing needed a name. He was just going to let this thing go as soon as he got back to Hell's Base, but for convenience's sake, he wasn't going to spend the entire flight calling it "banshee" or "four-winged bat from hell". That would just be unoriginal.

"You need a name, big guy." he said, leaning his head down to the creature. "But, what?" he murmured, rubbing his chin.

"I got it! _Bob_!"

The creature screamed and flapped its wings in protest. Okay, not Bob.

"No? How about _Stripy_?"

It shook its head violently.

"_Elvis?"_

It bucked Bill.

"_Terry!"_

_Hiss._

The good doctor went through every pet name he knew, all of them rejected. After a while, Bill was just rubbing his temples, calling out any name that came into his head.

"Okay.", he said, bracing himself for another screech, "what about..._Tweety_?"

The banshee made a noise that sounded like a combination between and guffaw and a growl. Still, it was the best reaction he had gotten out of the critter, and it technically didn't say no.

"Tweety it is! Gotta say, I liked Elvis better." he said as he patted the mountain flier on the head. He continued, "Now, as I was saying: we've got a ways to go."

He looked around to find his bearings, and stretched his arm at Hell's Gate, just over the horizon. Even if he wasn't spot-on, the place was huge; he'd have to be blind to miss it.

"That way. To Hell's Gate! To glory!" he shouted in the most overly-dramatic way possible. Things were finally going his way, and he'd be back home. That little voice in the back of his mind that kept telling him he was going to be stuck in his avatar body forever was sucker-punched by hope and thrown off a bridge with cement shoes. His human body was probably starting to decompose now, but that didn't deter Bill. They could just clone him a new one or something, right?

Right. That mentality was really the only thing keeping Bill sane.

He gave the neural command for the banshee to take off, and in one powerful swing of its wings it was off the ground and the flying mountain. Bill wasn't going to do anything fancy with his new ride; he wasn't an adrenaline junkie like some of the Na'vi riders he'd observed in the past. It was the straight and narrow for him, as he had experienced more than enough surprises for several lifetimes.

Tweety swooped down the huge flying boulders, the fog slowly clearing. The lush jungle of Pandora appeared in his sights, and he leveled out the banshee for a smooth flight, and continued his course with no planned interruptions.

However, there were a couple of notable happenings. The first was about thirty minutes into his flight, when he notices another banshee pulling alongside him, being ridden by another Na'vi. He looked very young, probably just having tamed his banshee as well. Bill ignored him, but couldn't any longer when it banked left and got in close enough for the doctor to hear the rider's voice. The Na'vi smiled and waved.

"_Toruk Makt_-" he started, but stopped as he got a closer look at Bill. His face became plastered with utter confusion and he took a few more glances at Bill before shouting at the banshee to turn right, heading toward a huge Hometree in the distance.

"Well, that was weird." Bill said to himself, not thinking anything of the encounter. Case of mistaken identity?

The other strange thing was that he noticed a peculiar lack of gunship patrols as he approached the general area of Hell's Gate. Most of the congregated in a tight airspace above the compound, but there would always be a few roaming packs for miles around, looking out for any possible attackers. Still, he didn't think much of it. It was a big area they covered, and they were probably just elsewhere.

With each powerful downward push of Tweety's wings, he came closer and closer to his destination before his saw it in the horizon. The main tower of Hell's Gate peeked over the jungle expanse first, and the rest of the colony followed, its gray metallic and concrete surfaces standing starkly against the rich colors of the forest. He would have jumped for joy, but as he was thousands upon thousands of feet above the ground, he didn't come this far just to become another notch on the wall for Uncle Gravity. Instead of jumping, he laughed triumphantly. The universe had thrown all it could at the poor doctor to prevent him from his destination, but he prevailed in the end. The human home grew in size until he could even see parked gunships and jeeps outside, and then he knew something was wrong.

Very wrong.

The smoke that was usually pouring out of the stacks at the refinement center was nowhere to be seen, and there were no Samsons or Scorpions vigilantly guarding the air over Hell's Gate. His laughing ceased, and dread washed over him. As he flew in closer, he also noticed that there wasn't a single sign of activity, or any people outside. The guard posts were apparently unoccupied, and the outer perimeters of the colony had already been overrun by grass and vines. Hell's Gate was empty.

"Go down, damnit!" he yelled at Tweety. The creature dove, taking no flak of any kind from the deactivated turrets or sniper nests. He directed the banshee to land on one of the helipads of the base, pointing it out. The creature gave a sharp squawk, and slowed down to make a landing. Its flapping kicked up unknown month's worth of accumulated dust and pollen as it landed and Bill jumped off. He leaped off the Helipad and ran out in the open area of the base, putting both hands on his head.

"**No no no NO**!" he screamed. He had come so far, only to find out that everyone packed up and left. He kicked an idle Scorpion to vent, and just ended up hurting his foot. Clutching it, he started with a very liberal use of cursing and he hopped away from the gunship. After the pain subsided, he took a deep breath and sat down, thinking about what to do next.

"Okay Bill, calm down." he assured himself, "I can still get through this. So they've left. Great. I'm here now, and I'm not letting this trip go to waste."

Hell's Gate had been off the grid for a while now, with the hum of machines copiously absent. He'd access some logs in some of the buildings to see what had happened, but computers needed power, and without power...

"That's it!" he exclaimed, "I need to get some power back to this place." Bill wasn't a mechanic, but he figured he could at least get a generator up and going and restore power to at least one of the science labs. When the RDA left, they left in a hell of a hurry, as they had abandoned everything. Most of the equipment outside hadn't been touched since their departure, whenever that was.

He told his banshee to stay, and it hissed and soared into the sky. As Bill was thinking that his own Ikran had abandoned him too, but then noticed that Tweety was merely circling the sky above him, watching out from on high.

"Close enough." he said as he began looking for a generator.

His search didn't last long, as he found the housing quarters nearby and used the direction posted on the walls to find his way to the backup generator. If he could get it working, it'd be just like home, just smaller. He had to constantly duck and squeeze through the smaller doors not built with an avatar's height in mind until he made is way into the generator room, as given away by the big yellow sticker with the bolt on it.

Bill knew a little about mechanics, and used that to make his special molotov grenades, but this generator was a whole different ballgame. He didn't know what went where, and with oversized hands combined with insufficient greasemonkey know-how, he gave up after dropping his third power coupling inside of the machine.

Sighing, he dragged his aching body out of the generator room, and slid against a wall. He was feeling pretty beat now, and even if the building didn't have power, it didn't matter much in the long run since he could breathe the toxic atmosphere anyway. He decided to spend the rest of the day napping in one of the rooms, and any bed no matter what the size would feel good after what he had been through. He went from door to door in the housing building looking for a room that wasn't locked. He came across Room 228-S, an apartment for one Lyle Wainfleet, a crony of Quaritch, and just as irritating to deal with.

Giving a weak laugh to the irony of it all, he pushed unlocked door forward and stepped inside. The living space was quite spartan, and the only things of note were a bed, a desk, and a window outside. Muscles aching, he turned toward the bed and laid his massive body down onto it. It wasn't a good fit, and his entire lower torso drooped off, but he didn't care at this point. He couldn't help but notice Tweety still flying around outside through the window, and he smiled a bit before drifting off to sleep.

He woke to footsteps. They were faint, but they were there, and closing in on him. Very awake now, he silently slid off the bed and went to the side of the door, which he hadn't even bothered to close behind him. Bill didn't have any weapons on him, or any real form of combat training. His bad arm had healed enough to be functional again, but he still wasn't in any real status to be fighting off someone at this point.

The steps grew louder. Bill tried to process who it could be, and what they were doing here. Was it a Na'vi, coming to kill off the last of the dreamwalkers, or a human SECOPS soldier with orders to shoot on sight?

His breathing became ragged as he tried to decide what to do. He could run, but that would be quite hard in the cramped space of the human building, or he could fight. If it was a Na'vi, he'd be screwed either way, but if it was human...he might be able to disable them and cheese it while they were still on the ground.

The steps were right at the door now, and Bill made up his mind. Yelling at the top of his lungs, he lunged at the entrance of the door, swinging his good arm at the intruder. His stalker was human, and his massive arm sent the man crashing into the floor. Bill got on his knees and raise a fist to deliver a knockout blow, but the human held out a hand, gasping for air through his exopack.

"S-stop it!", he wheezed, "not...going to hurt you!"

Bill lowered his fist, as the human coughed a few more times and pushed himself to his knees. The human evidently thought Bill was Na'vi from the half second look he got at him, and tried to plea with him in their language.

"_I mean you no harm. Please be civil!"_

The human weakly brought himself back to standing, staring at a very perplexed Bill, who then became a very happy Bill as he saw who the human was.

Dr. Patel.

His beard had grown out a lot more, and he definitely had gotten a deeper tan, but it was him all right. Bill gave a wide smile, his sharp teeth causing the smaller doctor to recoil a bit.

"_Max!" _he squealed with delight, spreading his arms out wide.

Dr. Patel cautiously leaned in and blinked. "Bill? Is that you?"

"In the flesh...more or less." he said said, leaning down to shake the hand of the doctor.

"Where the hell have you been? We gave up looking for your linkup station months ago." he said as he shook Bill's hand with both of his, slightly annoyed, but still enormously relieved that the chemist was alright.

"It's a long story, Max." he said, letting go of Patel's hand and looking off to the side. He looked back at the doctor, and cut to the chase. "What happened here?"

Max folded his arms and gave a low chuckle. "That's also a long story. C'mon," he said as he turned around, "I'll explain in the science lab. We still got electricity in there. The rest of the team will be happy to see ya."

Their walk through the building was a silent one, with the doctor in front and the avatar following, crouched down to avoid head injuries. As they exited the building into the warm sunlight of Pandora, Dr. Patel spoke to Bill.

"Before I take you to the science lab though", he said, "why don't we make things simpler? You'd barely fit in there as is, so why don't we get you out of your avatar? Where's your linkup station?"

Bill stopped in his tracks, and not receiving an answer, Dr. Patel turned around to face him.

"...about that." Bill uttered.


	12. Chapter 12: Tale of Two

"You're telling me that you got your head stuck in the link bed, and now you can't switch back?"

"No, I'm telling you I get my hair stuck in the projector, and I can't switch back because my human body's brain got turned to jelly."

It had been a very involved chat between the two scientists as they made their way toward the science lab at the other end of Hell's Gate. Bill had been trying to explain to Max his little accident, which Dr. Patel was very hesitant to believe. Sure, the same thing happened to Jake, but he did it on purpose, and that with the assistance of some very interesting biological phenomenon. It was theoretically possible, he guessed, but so many things could go wrong that it was a death sentence. Bill didn't care how lucky he was to have survived, and just wanted to know if the process was reversible.

"So," Bill said, smiling weakly at Dr. Patel, "is there any way to, y'know, help me out here?"

"Uh, how long has your human body been dead again?" Max asked in return. If it had only been a short time, he might be able to use some equipment from around the base to-

"About a week." Bill replied.

"Oh." Max uttered. He looked up to the giant chemist. He already had his hands full trying to bring Norm's avatar back online, and that was still an ongoing process. Taking a large breath, he delivered Bill the bad news.

"A week? That's...way too long."

Bill gave an exasperated sigh.

"Well, shit."

The chemist had really thought that the RDA would still be at Hell's Gate, but ever since looking at his own corpse, he secretly knew he was going to be stuck like he was, no matter how much he tried to bury it with wishful thinking. He was in this for the long haul and not having much else to say on a cure for his avatarness, he quickly changed the subject to something else he really wanted to know.

"So, what in the hell happened when I wasn't here? I'm gone almost ten months, and you guys let the place fall apart." he said, trying to keep humor about it. Max laughed as they reached the entrance of the science lab. The human took out a key card, slid it through a slot next to the door, and it hissed open. The two former RDA employees stepped inside, Bill ducking his head. Humans couldn't breathe the atmosphere of Pandora, but avatars and the Na'vi could breathe the more oxygen-enriched atmospheres of the sky people without much trouble. As the large room leading to the main building began the main pressurizing and filtration process, a voice came over the intercom, one Bill recognized.

"Hey Max!" the voice said, "You find anyone out there?"

It took a second for Bill to sort through his memory, and found who the voice belonged to: Norm Spellman. He'd only met Norm twice before heading out to his linkup station and getting subsequently abandoned, but he seemed like a nice enough guy. Dr. Patel pressed a button from inside the cabin to reply.

"Yes. It's Dr. Tabar."

"...W-what? Bill? Holy crap! Where was he?"

"In the housing quarters. Just hold on, we'll be over there in a second."

The hissing from inside the cramped room stopped, and the door leading to the inside slid open. The science lab always did have a pretty blue glow to it, although most of the science team never could stop and appreciate it, either from being worked to death inside or because they were in their avatars outside.

Whatever had happened to the mining and security division of the RDA had passed over the science team, because power was still running throughout the facility. They walked into a large circular room, and the sight of it took Bill back. It was one of the main avatar compounds, and sitting at one of the computers was Norm, reading a book. The anthropologist heard the footsteps and looked up. He gave the two scientists a look of bewilderment, as he wasn't expecting Bill to still be in his avatar form.

"Uh, why is Bill st-"

"I slipped and tripped and my human body went boom." Bill stated, interrupting Norm.

Norm snorted. "What?"

Bill didn't feel like going into the painful details of his accident for the sixth or seventh time, so he nodded to Max as he explained to Norm what had happened. Bill still hadn't told them what he had gone through just to get back to the base, but that could wait. As he saw Norm travel through a plethora of facial expressions, from amusement to suspicion, the chemist found himself wondering if these two plus himself were the only ones left on Pandora. Where was the rest of the science t-

Duh.

He looked around, and sure enough, he could clearly see almost all of the avatar beds in use, and the video feed from the inside of the beds showing the currently semi-comatose faces of the scientists. He walked up to one of the beds, getting a closer look, but then felt a hand on his wrist and looked down to see Norm.

"Man," he said apologetically, "that sucks."

"Yeah," Bill answered.

Norm tried to cheer Bill up, offering a new perspective.

"But hey! You gotta admit, it is kind of cool."

Bill shot a venomous glare at Norm, and Norm immediately backpedaled.

"From a scientific standpoint, of course."

It was getting late in the day, and he'd come here only to find the two things he wanted were gone or impossible to do. Now, he only had one question left.

"Okay. What happened here? Half the base is overrun with weeds, the RDA left me to die in the jungle, and a little birdie told me that my little mistake has happened to someone else, too! WHAT HAPPENED HERE?"

Dr. Patel was the first to say anything. "They got kicked out."

"I'm sorry," Bill replied, "I didn't GET that memo!"

"Bill!", Norm yelled to get his attention, "just calm down. You might want to sit down for this."

And so he did. There wasn't a big enough chair to support him, so he sat down on the floor as Norm and Max went over everything that had transpired from the day Bill had left. He'd stop them every so often to clarify things.

* * *

"Wait wait wait wait. So Jake, the jarhead."

"Uh huh."

"Mated with Neytiri."

"Yeah."

"_Oh dear God."_

Bill had met Jake only once, mere minutes before his departure from Hell's gate many months ago. He didn't think much of the marine, beyond that he apparently had a block of cheese where his brain should have been. When Jake had offered a handshake to Bill, the chemist told him to kindly go Semper Fi himself and left for his Samson awaiting takeoff.

And why, WHY would Neytiri want to be with the guy who had all the brainpower of a gnat? He had known the chieftain's daughter a little better, as she had been one of the students of Dr. Augustine's class, before the RDA shut it down. Bastards.

* * *

"They did what!?"

"Yeah, Quaritch went all out. Used gas and napalm too."

Bill really couldn't believe. He knew that the RDA really wanted the unobtanium under that tree, but he figured they'd at least convince the Na'vi to leave before they started mining for it. Scratch complete assclown off the Selfridge's resume and just replace it with_ evil_, Bill thought.

* * *

"...what?"

"Yeah. She'd lost too much blood."

Bill began to shudder a bit when he learned of Grace's death. It was the first thing in a very long time that made feel truly terrible, and the story had to wait while Bill shed a few tears for the fallen botanist. Dr. Augustine was a total pain to work with sometimes, but she was brilliant. She was also the only one who would laugh at Bill's stupid jokes. Still, if she could see Bill now, she'd probably whack him upside the head.

Right. The doctor died doing what she loved, no sense in mourning that. He regained his composure a little later, and motioned for them to continue.

* * *

"And...that's it. Everyone except the science team were forced to leave. Jake's still out there, along with the rest of the clan."

"They ever find a new home?"

"Well, the area around the Tree of Souls has become their unofficial home. They're still around there."

Bill still couldn't get over the ending. Jake used the Tree of Souls to permanently transfer his consciousness to his avatar. How that was even remotely possible was anyone's guess, but Bill couldn't help feeling a little jealous. At least Sully had a choice in the matter, whereas a broken chair had made up Bill's mind for him.

"So, now what?" he queried. For Pandora and the humans that had learned to respect it, a good end had come to the story. For the ones who kind of wanted to just get home, like Bill, it was bittersweet more than anything.

"You're more than welcome to stay here." Dr. Patel answered, "more company's always nice."

"Yeah," Norm chirped in, "and you could help the rest of the science team. We're still doing our jobs, more or less."

The RDA had been gone for months, so it's not like there was a paycheck in it for them.

"Uh, why?" Bill asked.

"We have nothing better to do."

Of course.

Dr. Patel stood up. "Well, I think Bill better meet the rest of the avatar team."

"They still live in recreation area out back?" Bill asked.

"Most of them. C'mon, they'll be happy to see you."

Bill doubted that. He almost never talked to any of the other members of the avatar team, and spent most of his time out in the field, collecting chemicals. He had actually pulled a few strings to be able to work alone out in the boondocks, and Selfridge granted the request. One less hippie scientist bitching at him because he approved the request to strip mine another forest.

"Actually," Norm said, "I think that better wait until tomorrow. It's getting late, and that big banshee is still flying around out there."

Bill chuckled as he pointed to the circling creature out one of the windows.

"Oh, he's mine. Name's Tweety."

Dr. Patel just gave Bill a weird look as Norm laughed, mouthing 'what!?'.

"Hey, don't look at me." Bill said, putting his hands up, "he chose the name. I wanted to call him Elvis."

"That would explain how you got here." Max stated.

Well, that had told him their story, he might as well do the same. He stood up, towering over the two humans.

"So, you guys want to hear about my adventure here?" he said. He was answered by two nods, and he started off from his first encounter with O'Tey and his son, to the Thanator, skipping the full switch accident, to the river village, his short stint inside the Kelutral, his taming of a banshee, and his arrival back to Hell's Gate.

"...Wow, and here I was thinking that Jake had a lot happen to him." Norm mumbled, slightly jealous. He'd been on this planet for all of three months before his avatar had been nearly shot to death. Max had been devoting all his time as of late trying to heal the wounds, but seeing as he was the only one left who knew how to operate most of the avatar equipment, progress was painfully slow. Still, Norm's avatar was almost ready for use again, and he'd been bouncing off the walls for the past few days just to get an opportunity to go outside again.

"I think you and Jake will a lot of catching up to do. He could probably tell you about what happened better than either of us." Max stated, folding his arms.

"What, seriously? Bill just got here, I don't think he wants to take off just like that." Norm argued, as Bill began to wander off into the other parts of the station. They let him go without saying anything, as he'd had enough stress for a few decades, if his story had any merit. The two human scientists kept talking, with Norm going over just when his avatar would be ready again for the sixtieth time.

Bill went up to the window, looking outside. It was evening now, and Tweety had gotten tired of flapping around and had perched himself on the main tower of Hell's Gate and was looking off into the distance, squawking at something. Bill followed Tweety's line of sight until he arrived at what the banshee was looking at: two smaller banshees, coming up fast on the base.

"Hey, guys?" Bill said, pointing at the two incoming banshees outside, "we have company."

Norm walked over to the glass window and leaned in, trying to get a closer look. Dr. Patel went to the back of the lab and went through a drawer, finally pulling out a pair of binoculars and strolled over to the window as well, using the device to home on the two creatures.

He smiled, and handed the binoculars over to Norm. Bill, feeling out of the loop, became annoyed as Norm also started smiling. The two scientists immediately went for some nearby exopacks as Bill was feeling a bit frustrated.

"What? What's so funny about two banshees rocketing towards us?" he growled as Norm and Max finished putting on their equipment.

"It's Jake." Norm said.


	13. Chapter 13: The Offer

Bill began wondering exactly he should introduce himself. Perhaps a simple handshake would do? He was secretly hoping that the marine had forgotten about his encounter with him and wouldn't remember his face, but that was probably a pipe dream.

He saw the two smaller banshees settle on the ground outside next to the tower Tweety had perched on, who was still throwing a hissy fit. He could clearly see two figures dismounting from the creatures, one of them pointing to Tweety. The other shrugged, and they began making their way toward the science lab at a pretty quickened pace.

"C'mon!" Norm called from the front of the base, "Jake will be happy to see you! He spent forever looking for your station."

Maybe this meeting wouldn't be so bad. That, and he really wanted to get to know this Jake character now. Not only had he managed to drive the RDA off Pandora, but he'd also become leader of the most powerful clan in the area, homeless or not. Sighing, the doctor stepped inside the pressure cabin to the outside with the other two scientists, as they began speculating reasons for Jake's visit.

"It's been like, what, a month?" Norm said, adjusting his exopack.

"He's very busy, I imagine. Still trying to find a new home for the clan takes up most of his time, probably." replied Dr. Patel.

As the inside atmosphere equalized itself with the outside air, Bill really felt like he was dead weight at this point. He was fascinated by Pandora, sure, that's why he was there in the first place, but he wasn't exactly as "in-tune" with nature as some of the other members of the avatar program. He still liked listening to music while working in his lab, and he wasn't above lighting a fire with kerosene. As awkward as it would be, he'd try working out of the science lab, even if he was comically oversized.

"Eh," he thought, "I'll talk to them about it later."

The large door to the outside slid open, the crisp air flooding into the compartment. The three scientists could immediately hear the cries and screams of the banshees on the far side of Hell's Gate, the huge flying animals communicating with each other in a symphony of noise. Bill could tell which one was Tweety's: it was the one about twenty decibels lower than a normal cry with what almost sounded like a ragged wheeze accompanying his screams. The chemist was beginning to think that Tweety was actually older than the rocks he lived on before meeting him.

They walked out of the lab and could see two small humanoid shapes running toward them. Norm began waving with both of his arms, jumping. Dr. Patel also waved, just a little less enthusiastically. Bill just stood there, hands behind his back. One of the shapes waved back, and as they ran in closer, he could start to make out features on them.

The one out in front was a male Na'vi, wearing the traditional elaborate necklaces and clothing one that Eytukan once wore. He had large bow slung over his back, and on his head was what appeared to be a visor for riding his banshee. Bill also noticed he was still wearing his dog tags, which seemed odd, considering everything else he abandoned. Mementos, he assumed.

Behind him was...Neytiri? He hadn't seen her in years, and the last time he had, she barely came up to Grace's waist when she was in her avatar form. That was when her school was still open, and she was one of the doctor's best students.

God, had he really been here that long? Spend three-fourths of a year inside a box, and your perception of time does begin to get a little warped.

Norm ran out ahead in front of them, with Dr. Patel walking behind, and Bill following. He could clearly see the front Na'vi's face now: it was Jake all right. Probably not the same dumb marine he had met before, but someone with intimate wisdom that could only come from great loss and struggle. Barring recent events, the worst thing that had happened to Bill was when that Prolemuris attacked him several years back.

He still had nightmares.

The doctor shook his head, trying to dispel the memory of small, biting teeth as he saw Norm shaking Jake's hand. As he did, Jake leaned over and shot a quizzical look to Bill as he made his way over to them.

"Oh, you're gonna love this.", Norm said, spinning around to the doctor, "Remember that guy we asked you to find, but you never could? Dr. Tabar? There he is."

Neytiri was the next to speak.

"Why is he..." she said, pointing out the fact that Bill was still an avatar, and she had clearly seen him walk out of the science lab as he was. She knew the sky people never went inside in their fake bodies, why would they? It'd be like an adult trying to sleep in a baby's bed.

"It's a really interesting story." Bill said as he walked up to the group, putting out his hand to shake Jake's.

"Hello! Dr. Tabar, PhD." he said. Jake cautiously shook hands, still looking very bewildered at both the fact that after scanning the ground from his banshee for months turned up nothing and that the doctor was still an avatar.

"Where were you?" Jake asked.

"It's a long story too, so you might want to-" he started, but Jake waved a hand as he began to speak.

"Uh, maybe later. Norm, Max,", he started, his face suddenly lighting up, "I think I found a new home for the Omaticaya."

The two humans did double-takes. Jake continued, more than happy to deliver the good news.

"It's not much, but it should do. It's this..." he trailed off, trying to put the location into shape with his hands, but failed. "It's like a huge tumbleweed. You can't see it from the air, but it is BIG. The branches all revolve around this central area, and they're big enough to walk on. We could set up homes and everything!"

Norm was simply beaming, and Dr. Patel looked quite happy as well.

"That's awesome!" Norm said.

"It'll take us a while to move everything," he said, "but it's a huge improvement over where we are."

"So, um," Bill mumbled as he tried to strike up another conversation with Jake, "that's cool."

Jake ignored him, instead walking off to the side with Norm to talk. Dr. Patel began talking to Neytiri, asking how she had been, with Bill once again getting shut out of the loop and indeed the entire race track. Fine. If they were going to be like that, he'd just ignore them too, and listen in on Jake and Norm's conversation.

"By the way," Jake asked, "your avatar almost ready?"

"Yeah, Max said it should be operational in a few days."

"You could help us move when it's ready, if you want."

"Planning on it."

Bill threw his arms up and walked away to one of the abandoned transports. He still heard chatting from behind him, which continued for a few minutes as he sat in the back seat of the Samson, until three of the voices began moving away from him. He heard footsteps, and lazily opened one of his eyes to see Jake walking to the helicopter he was in. Startled, Bill jumped slightly as he climbed out of the helicopter. When he walked up to the ex-marine, Jake put a hand on Bill's shoulder.

"Sorry about ignoring you," he said, "I've been kind of busy."

This was the first real talk to Jake, so he figured he might as well get old business out of the way first.

"Uh, sorry about telling you to go Semper Fi yourself way back when. I didn't have my coffee that morning."

Jake laughed hard. He patted Bill on the shoulder as he did so, shaking his head.

"Oh, man. Don't worry about it. I was a marine. Got yelled at and called names all the time."

Phew.

"So," the clan leader said, regaining his composure, "where were you? I couldn't find your shack anywhere on the maps Max gave me. We eventually just thought it got attacked and the forest grew over it."

"Well, I never did go through the official paperwork to move out there. I just pulled a favor from Parker and he said 'yes'. Not a very good idea in retrospect."

"I'm just glad to see you're okay. Also, I want to ask you something: why were you in the science lab? It was probably pretty cramped in there."

"Like I said, it's a long story."

Jake frowned a bit, tilting his head.

"Maybe you could shorten it a little?"

All right, Bill thought, you asked for it. He took a big breath, and looked Jake directly in the eyes.

"Would you believe me if I told you I got in an accident with the link chamber and somehow, someway I ended up transferring my mind to my avatar while simultaneously killing my human body, and now I'm stuck like this?" he deadpanned.

Bill figured Jake would understand his situation, since he had also undergone a full switch, but no such luck. Jake's jaw nearly hit the concrete floor, and he blinked a few times before shaking his head.

"I'm sorry, what?" he said, his ears flattened in confusion.

"That's the short version. You want the long one?"

Bill and Jake then spun around to Jake's name being called, and could see Neytiri waving them over at the entrance to the avatar living space. He nodded at Bill.

"Now I do. We'll talk later." he said as he ran over towards Norm and co., with several of the avatars from the rest of the science team gathered around them, mostly talking to Neytiri.

Bill followed, hands in his pockets.

What followed next was pretty predictable. Jake told the rest of the avatars of his discovery, which prompted a lot of congratulations from the science team. Bill also took the opportunity to introduce himself, and to his surprise, the rest of the team was glad to see him. One of them asked what had happened to him, citing his torn clothes. He told them what he had told everyone else: it was a long story.

Now people were interested. Jake had heard the short version and was very curious, Neytiri still didn't know what was going on, and neither Norm nor Max would tell her, saying it was better to hear it from him. The avatar team was just happy to see one of their own was fine, and itching to hear about his survival out in the wild.

"You know what?" Jake said, looking at the position of the sun, "I guess I don't have to be back THAT soon. I really want to hear this story of Dr. Tabar's."

"_As do I."_ Neytri said in Na'vi. Bill told everyone that they weren't going to believe him, with Norm and Max backing him up on that claim. He directed everyone to the large wooden cabin the avatars slept in, and everyone packed into the oversized house as Bill began his story.

* * *

"You killed a Thanator by making it eat _grenades_?" one of the avatars said, laughing at the sheer absurdity of it.

"Messed up my arm really bad." Bill said, pointing to the makeshift cast.

"Shit, where were you when I was in Venezuela?" Jake said, smiling

* * *

"_You lie." _Neytiri uttered as Bill was describing the details of the link chamber accident. Her mate had been able to fully make the switch with the help of an entire clan, and the guidance of her mother. How, and why, would one of the dreamwalkers be able to do it by himself? By accident?

"Neytiri, I saw my own corpse. You don't lie about something that _wrong_." he replied. The Na'vi said nothing more as Bill was assaulted by a swarm of questions from the other avatars, some of them jealous, most of them dumbfounded.

"So, that big _Ikran_ outside? That's yours?" Jake asked. Neytri gave a small nod of approval to him when she noticed he hadn't used the word banshee. He was clan leader, and the people looked up to him, but that didn't stop him from inadvertently switching to English from time to time when talking to someone, something that amused as well as annoyed Neytiri.

"Yeah. His name is Tweety."

Jake chuckled along with a few muffled snickers from the rest of the group.

"That thing is...nearly the size of a Leo." he said to himself.

* * *

"Which ends with me landing here, wondering where everyone went. The End."

As the rest of the science team let loose another barrage of questions to the chemist, Neytiri turned to Jake.

"_Quite a story. Do you think it's true?" _she said.

"_His Ikran is enough proof for me." _he answered, and as if on cue, the big banshee could be heard clear from the cabin, squawking a few times before settling down. That was a soft spot for Neytiri. She had only recently bonded with another banshee, Seze being killed in the confrontation with the RDA.

Norm decided to break up the crowd, giving the doctor some much-needed space. Bill took the opportunity to stand up and stretch, and then noticed how much the sun had moved since his story started. It was nighttime now, and the forest was alight.

"Christ, where does the time go?" Norm said, looking outside. He turned Jake and Neytri, "You guys still leaving? It's pretty dark out there."

The two looked at each other, and Jake shrugged.

"I guess it wouldn't hurt to stay the night." he answered. Though, he kind of just missed sleeping on an actual bed, and he still wanted to talk to Bill. Dude had been through a lot.

By this time, Bill had already excused himself to go step outside, and Dr. Patel was telling most of the avatars to get in their cots so they could switch back to their human forms. The chemist couldn't help but note that there were a few empty beds, but he didn't think anything of it.

As he walked outside, heading to the science lab, he felt someone behind him.

"You could," Jake started, "and I know Mo'at isn't going to like this, come back with us."

That got Bill's attention. Jake basically just said if he wanted to join the clan, and it wasn't like he hadn't already done pretty much everything one needed to do to be accepted by them, especially the bit about taming a banshee that could hold its own against a Leonopteryx. Plus, Jake was their leader, so it was unlikely anyone would object.

"Hate to be rude Jake," Bill said, "but all the things that have happened to me in the past week or so? Most miserable experience I've ever had in my life. I would murder someone, in cold blood, before having to repeat all the stuff I went through."

"The offer's out there. You could still help us move. Avatar range isn't really an issue anymore."

"That," he said as Jake turned around to head back inside the cabin, pointing a finger upward, "I can do."

Before he left, Bill wanted to know one more thing.

"Jake!" he called out.

"Yeah?"

"How do I look?"

Jake looked up and down the battered avatar, from his torn shirt to his ripped arm. His pants were also in bad shape, and the doctor had more than a few scrapes all over him.

"Like crap." he answered truthfully.


	14. Chapter 14: Ikran Makto Apaxa

It was decided: Bill needed new clothes. As he and Jake made it back to the cabin, he took note that most of the avatars were asleep, dead to the world. He took their inactivity as a great moment to bum some clothes off of them, rummaging through a few closets until he finally found something worth wearing: a gray cotton undershirt and a drab olive vest. Not much to work with, but we wasn't about to rip the clothing off his colleagues.

"You're taking this really well." Jake said from behind as he was fitting on his new garments.

"Huh?" the doctor replied as was was buttoning the vest.

"You trip, get shocked, get stuck in your avatar, and you just roll with it. It's great."

"I did cry a lot after I realized what had happened."

"Oh."

"_Yeah."_

Neytiri, having overheard everything, was laughing.

Bill narrowed his eyes at the Na'vi.

"Oh, you think this is funny?"

"_Yes!" _she answered, clutching her sides.

"Whatever," he mumbled, turning back to Jake, "So, what do you guys need help with? It's not like I have anything better to do around here."

Jake pondered that for a second, going over the massive logistics involved in moving everyone to their new home. How could a curmudgeony chemist help his clan? He gazed off into nowhere before snapping his fingers and looking back at Bill.

"That banshee-"

"_Ikran."_

"_Ikran_ of yours. He's huge; he could probably pull his own weight around."

Jake did have a point. Tweety evidently ate his veggies as a little screaming four-winged death machine, because he was almost one and a half times the size of a normal banshee. It wasn't outlandish to think that he's be a lot stronger by default.

"Sounds like a plan." he said to Jake, giving him the thumbs up. He'd had the big brute for all of a day, and he still needed breaking in. He plopped down on one of the empty cots, the only avatar left awake. The two human doctors had started heading back to the lab.

"What have you guys been up to since, you know, August?" he asked. If Norm and Max's story was to be believed, the RDA got forced off the planet in late August, and Jake had made the full transfer to his avatar body on the 24th, his birthday.

Neytiri felt like answering this one.

"_Recovering._", she said, "_All the clans returned to their homes, except us. We managed to save what we could from our former home._"

"Me and Neytiri been hunting like crazy, mostly." Jake added, " And Mo'at's been run ragged from performing those ceremonies. I didn't like asking her to do them, but she seemed happy to help."

"_Mother says she's just fine, Jake. Why do you worry about her?"_

"Wait," Bill blurted, putting a hand up, "what ceremonies?"

The couple shot each other a confused look, then stared at Bill.

"_Toktor_ Patel didn't tell you?" Neytiri asked, in English, still looking quite astonished as if Bill had asked them what color the sky was.

"Oh, man." Jake said, rubbing his eyebrow ridge, "It's a good thing you're sitting down. I'll try and explain this the best I can."

* * *

Bill had been missed for about five months since the RDA was kicked out. In that time, Jake wasn't the only one who was accepted in the Omaticaya Clan. A few of the scientists had actually volunteered to undergo complete body switches as well, to aid the clan in any way they could. Those were Dr. Holland, a medical doctor who was assisting the clan's healer, Dr. Pearson, a biologist, and Dr. Mercado, the geologist. The third one still owed Bill thirty bucks. Them being at the Tree of Souls at the moment would explain the empty beds, and why Mo'at was so tired.

"Good for them?" he asked rhetorically.

"They are very helpful." Neytiri said.

"I'm sure they are. Is there any other need-to-know information I should be aware of? Was there a zombie outbreak when I was gone, too?"

Jake opened his mouth to answer, but Bill had already gotten comfortable in the bed and gave a shooing motion.

"Actually, I don't care. Wake me up when it's tomorrow."

* * *

Jake didn't wake up Bill the next morning. Tweety accomplished that when Jake was still sound asleep. Startled by the gagging screeches of the oversized banshee, Bill rolled out of bed. Quite literally, in fact, as he hit floor with a groan.

"Gonna kill that bird." he growled as he pushed himself up. He looked around the cabin, seeing that most of the avatars were not in use, and asleep. He turned around to see Jake and Neytiri, sleeping on the same bed, cuddled against one another.

"Get a room." he muttered as he walked outside. Tweety was barking at the smaller two banshees, who simply flew a little further away from his racket. He was like Bill before his morning coffee.

Coffee!

The doctor hadn't had a good cup of joe in forever, and there wasn't a mixer in the cabin, that was for sure. There was still one of the science lab, and he wasn't about to fly to the Tree of Souls without enough caffeine to kill a small squirrel coursing through his veins. He made his way over to the lab, and knocked three times on the large metal door, hoping to get a reaction. As he waited, waited, and began to turn around to head back, the front door hissed and slid open. He entered the pressurizing cabin, and a voice came in over the intercom.

"Uh, Bill? What are you doing up this early?" Norm's voice crackled over the static.

"Got any coffee?" he asked simply.

"Sure! Hold on a sec, I'll just flip this switch and...."

White gasses shot out of the steel walls, equalizing the lower pressure atmosphere of Pandora with the filtered one of the lab. Once they stopped, the second door unlocked, and automatically slid open to the main science lab. Bill, still having to awkwardly watch his own height as he crouch-walked through the halls of the lab, made his way to the lounge, where the coffee machine was. He came to the lounge, where several of the AVTR team looked up to the blue behemoth that was trying to squeeze inside. They didn't think much of it, as Norm had told them he was coming, but it was still a little unsettling to see. It's easy to lose your frame of reference when in an avatar, but when you're human, you forget just how tall the Na'vi are.

He was greeted by a round of "Hi Bill/Dr. Tabar"s, which he responded to with an annoyed grunt as he went to work on his special brew. They didn't dare screw with the grumpy giant before he gulped down his coffee, slamming the cup down on the desk. He repeated this five more times, finally getting enough of a buzz to face the day. He turned around, less irritable now.

"I needed that. So what have you guys been up to?"

To say it was a surreal scene watching Bill, who absolutely dwarfed the rest of the humans, talking to them about their recent scientific discoveries or experiences is to say that sand is dry. He was back in his element, so to speak. Norm showed up a little later, telling the avatar drivers that the link beds were ready, and Bill might want to go back outside, as Jake and Neytiri was woken up and were heading toward their banshees. The chemist thanked Norm for the coffee, and went back outside, once again having to suffer the damned atmospheric pressurization chamber.

He stepped back out into the poisonous air of Pandora, seeing Jake and Neytiri looking around for their banshees, who had moved due to Tweety's bullying. They located them, and mounted theirkran, with Bill running down the base waving his arms to make sure they wouldn't forget him. They did wait long enough for him to catch up, and Tweety swooped down from the tower, landing right next to Bill. He jumped on, and turned to Jake.

"I'm kind of excited, actually. I've never seen the Tree of Souls except for a photo." he said.

"It's...something." Jake managed to say, not being able to find the right words in English.

"So what kind of flying time are we talking ab-" he started, but was cut off when Jake and Neytiri took off during his question, leaving him and Tweety in the dust.

"Fine. Be that way." he mumbled as the connected his queue with the overgrown banshee's and told the critter to take off and follow Jake. It complied, and used its powerful wings to lift itself and Bill off the ground, and proceeded to pursue Jake's banshee. Tweety didn't like this very much, as every so often he'd give an annoyed growl during flight, and Bill could tell he wanted to be out in front. Fed up, he leaned down to the creature's head, looking it straight in its eyes.

"Getting lost in the forest again is the last thing I want to do. I have no friggin' idea where the Tree of Souls is. If you do, you're more than welcome to the lead the way!" he yelled at it.

The banshee suddenly gave a tremendous flap, sending it screaming past Jake and Neytiri as Bill held on for dear life.

Bill closed his eyes a few minutes after Tweety kicked in the afterburners, as the wind was really stinging his eyes. It wasn't until he heard voices that he realized Tweety had landed, and in one piece. He calmly disconnected the queue, but not before relaying one final thought to the flying monster.

"_Bad banshee."_

He slid off the _Ikran_, and opened his eyes to find a large crowd of Na'vi staring at him. He raised one hand, and introduced himself as best he could.

"_Hello. I'm Bill."_

Awkward silence seemed follow the chemist wherever he went, and his prayers for it to end were answered when one of the natives pointed up and gave a small cheer as Jake and Neytiri's banshees came into sight, and were soon landing close to where Bill had. Jake jumped off and pointed towards Bill.

"_This is a friend! He is here to help us move."_

A few of the more hardened Na'vi relented their icy glares as they went back to their tasks, with Jake and Neytiri being pulled aside by Mo'at on some issue. Bill was trying to decide what to do next when he heard his name called behind him.

"_Bill?"_

He turned his head as he saw the shocked face of Dr. Holland. When Jake said they had joined the clan, he wasn't kidding. Holland was wearing what almost every other clan member was, plus the tribal makeup, save for the hilariously out of place white medical coat.

"_I thought you were dead!" _he said in Na'vi, and ran into the doctor, giving him a big hug. Dr. Holland was always a little (ie: very) eccentric, or creepy. Take your pick.

And why the hell was he talking in Na'vi to Bill? Was he really that involved?

"Yeah, I'm okay. It's a very complicated story."

Dr. Holland didn't hear him.

"...You can let go now." he growled.

"_Oh, sorry_!" the MD said, releasing Bill.

"_So, what brings you here?" _Dr. Holland asked, still speaking the language of the natives. Bill had to admit, this guy had commitment.

"I said I'd help Jake you guys move."

"_Wonderful! I'll find Sally and Reid! They'll be delighted to see you!" _he shrilled as he ran off. How Dr. Holland passed the psychological part of the AVTR admission test, nobody would ever know. As he watched the white coat of the doctor sift through the blue crowd, he looked up to see what Grace had wanted to just see in person all her life: The Tree of Souls. Not as massive as the trees the Na'vi clans of the jungle lived in, but it still dominated the landscape. It was also probably just the caffeine, but Bill could swear something else was there with the tree, something he couldn't quite place a finger on.

He shrugged it off, citing paranoia. He turned around just in time to see a small blade swing at his face and nick him in the forehead, drawing a drop of blood.

"What the f-" he protested, but cut himself short when he got a good look at his attacker: Mo'at.

She licked the blade and sheathed it, and turned to Jake.

"_You were telling the truth."_

Jake shrugged, giving her a face that said "were you expecting something else?"

"Do what you must to help us, Billtabar." she calmly stated to the doctor before walking past him. As she did, Jake patted him on the shoulder, reassuring him.

"She did the same thing to me," the ex-marine said, "just...a lot harder. She must like you." he said in a joking tone, before following Mo'at and Neytiri to the base of the Tree of Souls. In-laws. You learn to love them, that is if they don't kill you first.

Bill decided to make himself useful and began tying things to the banshee, mostly bows and spears and whatever else was deemed too valuable to leave behind. He got more than a few wary looks, but they never bothered the chemist. As he loaded up another pair of spears, he felt another tap on his shoulder. He turned to find Dr. Holland again, along with Dr. Sally Pearson and Dr. Reid Mercado.

"Good to see you're alive, Bill!" said Dr. Pearson

"Welcome to Hell." said Dr. Mercado.


	15. Chapter 15: Year Zero

The three doctors had stopped what they were doing to catch up with Bill. One of the first questions that came from Reid was how Bill managed to get to the Tree of Souls with his limited avatar range.

"Did you guys overclock one of the link beds or something?" Dr. Mercado asked, hands on his hips. He'd volunteered to completely transfer his mind for two reasons: 1.) He sure as hell didn't want to go back to Earth and 2.) He felt like this would help him redeem himself somewhat, as he had been the one who originally discovered the deposit under the clan's former home. Not that he told anybody about that. It was just a matter of asking Jake and going through the appropriate trails.

"_Maybe he asked Eywa to do a full switch behind our backs!"_ Dr. Holland chirped, poking Bill in the arm.

Dr. Tabar didn't say anything, but looked down at the ground while he scratched his head.

"Bill...?" Dr. Pearson said. He couldn't have done it, not without Tree. Could he?

"Actually," he said, "When I was out in the wild, there was an...incident."

Bill detailed the excruciating process from which he got double-teamed by gravity and misfortune, sending his head into the link bed, killing his human body after a manual ejection, which he had accidentally started when he tried to grab onto something when he fell.

"Get the hell out." Mercado contested when Bill finished. Lucky bastard. He, Sally, Robert had to fight a banshee, but Dr. Tabar gets off easy and received a full switch only because the RDA made really crappy rolling chairs. Not that he believed him. The chances of the chemist surviving that were unbelievably low.

"That is so cool!" Sally declared before leaning into the doctor, inspecting him."So, are you feeling okay? No headaches, residual nerve sensations, strange dreams?"

The strange dreams part, definitely. Bill dreamed of avatar Elvis performing on the moon to a crowd of half-eaten apples last night, but he had deranged dreams all the time.

"Uh, no." he lied and leaning away from Sally, "And it's not cool. I didn't ask for this to happen."

"_Most of the team are probably going to do it eventually! The RDA is gone forever!" _Dr. Holland replied, still chipper. Ever the optimist. Barring his endlessly sunshiny personality and obsessive habits, he was a brilliant medical doctor, although he could have just as easily gotten a doctorate on the Na'vi's culture, which was something he was obsessed with since a teenager. He was a walking encyclopedia for customs and rituals of the inhabitants of the gas giant's moon, even over bits of the culture that were so obscure some of the own clan members didn't know what he was talking about.

"Rob, for the last time," Dr. Mercado said, turning to Dr. Holland, "Humanity's going to be back. It's just a matter of when."

"And as for you," he continued, turning to Bill, "I'm still not sure if I believe you. I want proof."

"Why would I lie about something like this?" Bill replied, annoyed. This was hardly the time to be pulling pranks. What would he do, jump on Reid's head in his human body when he wasn't looking?

"I don't think you are. But there's still no way you could have survived. Maybe your human body isn't dead." Dr. Mercado rationalized, hoping to give Bill some hope that he could switch back.

"So, you want to fly over to my abandoned research station and show you my dead body? Is _that_ what you want?" Bill retorted. He _really_ did not want to have to look at his own corpse again.

Dr. Mercado shrugged. "Couldn't hurt."

"Fine!" Bill spat, "You want to waste a day flying over there to prove what I already know. When do you want to leave?"

The more he had to be forced to talk about the subject of his new body, the less he liked it. It was the same way a person who was mugged and had their nose chopped off might get tired of explaining it when asked why they couldn't smell things very well.

"Now would be nice. I'm done with everything I need to do here." the geologist said simply. He'd earned his respect among the clan when he had used his geology equipment to find a seemingly odd placement of unobtanium, which was now the location everyone was moving to. They wouldn't mind if he took off with Bill for the afternoon to confirm what had happened.

"Yeah, whatever. I'll go when you're ready." Bill said, sitting down. He saw Reid walk back into the crowd to track down Jake. Dr. Pearson heard her name called and left Bill, while Dr. Holland excused himself, but not before crouching down and getting uncomfortably close to him.

"_You're very lucky." _he said to the chemist.

"And you're very weird." Bill shot back. Dr. Holland smiled, and walked off into the mass of people.

After a while of waiting for Dr. Mercado to show up, Bill decided to go back to loading things onto Tweety for the move. As he did, he considered the doctor's words earlier about humanity returning to Pandora. Jake had told them never to return, but even he knew that his words probably wouldn't he honored. Like Reid has said, it was just a matter of time, plus whether or not the human race had learned its lesson the first time around. It could potentially pan out three ways:

1.) Humans never return. The Na'vi are fee to frolic through the jungle.

2.) Humans return, having learned their lesson, and continue operations on Pandora with very heavy supervision by the natives.

3.) Humans return, having learned their lesson, and just bombard the planet from orbit.

Two was probably the most likely scenario, as some of the grunts and lower-level employees would inevitably blab. Not all of them were bad people, and more than a few of the RDA soldiers probably felt guilt over what they did. When word of the atrocities that Quaritch committed got out, Selfrdige would be lucky if he didn't get assassinated by an eco-terrorist group back home. Not that the bastard didn't deserve it.

When that happened, what would he do? He could potentially ask the corporation to clone him a new human body, and if they didn't want to anger the natives, they'd have to give in to his demands. On the other hand, what if they never return? No, they had to. The RDA lacked the foresight to not bank its entire profit industry into mining, and if they didn't want to go bankrupt and collapse the world economy, they were going to be back.

As he went back to pick up another load of supplies, he saw Reid running up to him out of the corner of his eye.

"Jake says he doesn't mind. Let's go." he said as he ran over to the collective of banshees resting on the outskirts of the settlement. Since the geologist didn't know the way, Bill took the initiative and jumped on Tweety, forming the neural bond with the Ikran.

"_Do you remember where you lived? Take me there." _he commanded the animal, and it lifted off. As he rose above the sacred Na'vi ground, he saw another banshee from nearby climb into the air, with Mercado on board. He was pretty easy to spot, as he was still wearing his green hiking pants he wore even when the RDA was still on Pandora.

Tweety wasted no time heading home. Bill could find his station by finding the floating mountains where the banshee's original home was, which was right next to the lab. As they began flying in close formation en route to Bill's metal home, Dr. Mercado decided to try and talk to the chemist to pass the time.

"How long you been like that?" he asked, nearly having to yell over the whooshing wind.

"Ugh, not this again!" he yelled back. He sighed. Might as well. "About a week! You?"

"A month or so."

"Why'd you do it?" Bill asked. Doing a full transfer was a pretty goddamn big decision. He could see why Dr. Holland had done it, as he was halfway convinced that there was some sort of cosmic mistake that resulted in the doctor being born on Earth instead of Pandora, but why the geologist? Or Dr. Pearson, for that matter?

"I'm not planning on going back to Earth. Let's leave it at that." Reid said, dropping the subject.

The rest of the trip was silent, save for the times Reid's banshee got to close to Tweety, which he would respond to by screeching and then snapping at his smaller cousin. Bill thought it was kind of funny, but eventually told the oversized critter to stop. As the huge mountains that contained Tweety's rookery came into view, he saw a small glint on the forest floor, in an opening. It was his lab, the metal reflecting the sunlight.

Bill pointed at the large frame.

"I see it." Reid responded, and they both gave their banshees the command to land near the outpost.

* * *

"Shouldn't we say something?" Reid asked as he dumped Bill's human body into a small ditch.

"I'm still alive, jackass." the chemist grunted.

"Sorry, sorry. I guess I should have believed you. You wanna take a hair back or something? You know, as a memento?"

"No. I don't care anymore."

And then it hit him. He didn't care. If one of the ISVs could come plummeting down into the atmosphere right now and right onto his head and he wouldn't care. If the RDA did come back and somehow gave Bill his old body back, he wouldn't care. Even if Eywa her/his/itself appeared before him and told him that he was the chosen one, he'd tell the deity to go bother someone else. He'd lost all interest of trying to return home when he had actually touched his own corpse, and had to ask Reid to carry it out instead.

They had a moment of silence for Bill's discarded shell before the geologist turned to the chemist.

"Now what are you going to do? You're welcome to stay with us. We'd really appreciate the help."

Bill continued to stare at Human Bill, hoping he'd spring to life and give him all the answers he was looking for. Not that he had any questions beyond what he should do with his life at the moment.

"Bill?"

"What?"

"Your banshee's eating that direhorse that was standing outside."

Bill turned around, and lo, the banshee was perched over the direhorse's corpse, covered in blood. Even after a week, that elephant-sized mount had still been standing there at Bill's command. At least it turned out good for something in the end.

He walked around to his former living space, grabbed a shovel from the supply closet inside the base and mustered up the strength the bury his human body. Dr. Mercado offered to help, but Bill ignored him until he had completely covered the corpse with dirt. By this time, Tweety had picked the direhorse clean, giving out a contented chirp as he swallowed the last large slab of meat from the animal.

Plagued by apathy though he may have been, he still wasn't going to let nine months of secluded research go to waste. He gathered up all his research papers from inside the lab and stuffed them into a small briefcase. His scientific pursuits were the only thing that kept him sane out in the wild, why wouldn't it now?

He exited the building to see Reid waiting next to his doctor made his way toward the two parked _Ikran_ and then took one last look at the breached station. "Let's get the hell out of here."

* * *

What happened next was mostly a blur to Bill. He helped the Na'vi move to their new home, an interwoven maze of huge branches below the canopy of the forest, not that far from Hell's Gate. He had seen Dr. Holland assisting the clan's healer, Dr. Mercado collecting soil samples and helping to gather fruit from the outlying area, and Dr. Pearson? Apparently she turned out to be a really good hunter. Sally later explained that she took archery classes in high school, but she never expected them to pay off. Norm's avatar was finally up and running, and did laps around the avatar training compound in celebration, and later hitched a ride to the clan's new home to help with the move, which was almost done by that point.

But, Bill didn't care. He returned back to Hell's Gate and explained to the rest of the team that he intended to continue working on his research.

He spent the next few months living out of the cabin the avatars slept in, setting up a makeshift lab there with equipment from the human settlement. The rest of the science team didn't mind, although most were curious as to why Bill had turned down Jake's offer to join the clan. The only reason the other three doctors had been accepted was because they were the only ones still on speaking terms with the Na'vi by the time war had broken out. He'd usually say something to the effect of not wanting to get in Jake's way, but that was just a lie. The cabin was closer to Hell's Gate, which meant not having to board Pandora Air with Captain Tweety with sensitive vials every time he needed to return to the human colony.

Dr. Tabar had a new game plan: wait for the RDA. Not much of a plan, he admitted to himself, but it was something to prepare for. As he continued his research, he secretly made a small stockpile of his molotovs in case things became nasty when the megacorp did land again, but was content to spend most of his days analyzing the structures of the juice he'd extracted from a plant that day. During that time, Jake had finally managed to convince some of the elder warriors of the tribe to tolerate the presence of the rest of the avatar team. Norm was a welcome guest; he had helped them in the final war. The rest got a much icier reception, but they would probably warm up to the humans as time wore on.

The chemist continued his work nonetheless, however. Some of the compounds he'd stored away had some very interesting properties, and if he could get them back to Earth, all kinds of new medicine could be created.

As he spent his days lazily collecting samples and writing down information about them, he just knew the RDA's return was imminent.

It wasn't.

* * *

_No, this isn't the end. Stay tuned, I have a lot more planned. Thanks for all the reviews thus far, they've been very encouraging!_


	16. Chapter 16: Reluctance

The science team had a problem, and one Bill could sympathize with. Some six months after Dr. Tabar had settled back into Hell's Gate, or what was left of it, an especially nasty kind of weed had taken root on one of the gates close to the science lab. Before anyone could realize the threat it posed, it had already overgrown the generator, and it's leaves had ruined the internal workings of the electrical device, and the sheer thickness of the roots that had overtaken the machine made it nearly impossible to access.

When the power failed, each member of the science team did manage to find an emergency rebreather for themselves, with one exception: Dr. Patel. He had been in the basement of the building when the power failed, and the lights went out. The nearby emergency generator had also been eaten by the growth of Pandora, and the doctor was not able to get to a supply of filtered oxygen in time. By the time the rest of the team realized he was missing, it was too late.

The held a funeral at the outer perimeter of the base, burying the doctor with full honors. Bill had summoned Jake to attend the funeral as well, and Neytiri accompanied him to pay her respects. They each gave a eulogy for the doctor, and there were few dry eyes in the procession. The doctor had done so much for the Na'vi and Pandora, and asked for nothing in return. To be cut down by a plant just didn't seem right.

Dr. Max Patel's final resting place was a large tree just outside the tall gates, and Neytiri planted a Woodsprite with his body.

This was their problem: they were now living on their exopacks, their last line of defense against the toxic air of Pandora. The exopacks were very well made, and could be used for two weeks straight before failing, but they only had a finite about, and with Dr. Patel dead, their avatars couldn't look for help, as none of the other doctors truly knew how to work the equipment. It was a grim situation, and Norm was the first one to take charge. As the group, including Jake and Neytri, walked back to the science lab, Norm ran out ahead of the group and turned toward them.

"Okay, I know we've all just lost a great man. Max was a friend, everyone's friend, but he wouldn't want to see us sulking like this. We're in trouble here, and I think I may have an idea."

Jake's eyes lit up. Was he seriously suggesting...?

"Everyone to the avatar compound. I'll explain there." he said as he ran towards the lab. The rest of the group exchanged glances and followed Dr. Spellman.

* * *

Bill was the last to shuffle into the round room, still very bummed out about Max's death. He was a good guy and didn't deserve to die like that. He shook his head, banishing the thought. Everyone else was there, including Jake and Neytri, who had to duck their heads like Bill to avoid hitting the ceiling.

"Everyone here? Good." Norm said. "Now, as you all know, we're in deep shit. Power's gone, and nobody knows how to fix it. Our avatars are gone too, with Dr. Patel."

The rest of the science team bowed their heads in respect of the late doctor.

"But, and I know some of you aren't going to like this, I do have an idea. It's crazy, but it's the only thing I can think of."

Nobody interrupted him, but there were a few raised eyebrows.

Norm turned to Neytiri.

"Neytiri, the full transfer from the human body to the avatar one, can it be done on anybody?" he asked her, prompting a slightly puzzled look from her. A few murmurs spread throughout the team as they were beginning to comprehend what he was saying. He turned back to the rest of the team.

"Yeah, we really don't have much of a choice. We could do it Bill's way-" he said, motioning an arm towards the chemist "-but that's like playing Russian Roulette with your brain." He walked up to Jake, looking up at his tall blue friend.

"Jake. I know we are in absolutely no position to be asking you any favors, but..."

Jake placed a hand on Norm's shoulder, smiling. "Norm, Grace once said this to me:" he said, switching a mock-Grace voice, "Go in trigger happy on Pandora and you'll end up dead in two weeks. Respect Pandora, and she'll reward you in ways you can't imagine."

"So that's a 'yes'?" Bill asked from the back of the room.

Jake turned a head to Bill. "I don't get many opportunities to say wise man stuff, but, yeah. I'm an easy-going guy, but I can be a drill instructor to the rest of the clan if they aren't thrilled about the idea." He turned to Neytiri quickly.

"_Only if you also think they deserve it._" he said in Na'vi.

"_I think mother will need some extra help if we're going to do that many at once." _she answered.

Jake shrugged. "There you have it. You guys sure about this?"

Norm gave a weak chuckle. "We could wait on the RDA."

Jake chuckled as well. "Yeah, Plan A sounds good."

"All right!" Norm exclaimed, clasping his hands together, "We're gonna make this real simple. All in favor of staying human and waiting for the all-merciful RDA to come in and save us, raise your hand."

Nobody moved.

"All in favor of the other thing?"

The scientists looked at each other with nervous glances, and slowly but surely, the team reluctantly raised their hands, one by one.

"Ooh-rah." Jake said as the last hand went up.

* * *

Making a full transfer to twenty or so scientists was a tall order, and Mo'at couldn't help but feel that the sanctity of truly becoming one of the People was being cheapened somewhat. Jake and Neytiri pleaded with her for days for the elder's blessing, making the case that the humans would die without their help. She finally relented when the other three scientists who had also undergone the transfer stepped in and made a case for the humans too. Bill also put in a good word. As Jake was giving out orders for some of the clan members to get their banshees and follow them to deliver the humans to the tree, Bill turned to Dr. Mercado.

"I'm never getting that thirty bucks back, am I?"

"What would you spend it on?" Reid asked, laughing.

"Protection money from Thanators?"

* * *

"Jake, I appreciate what you're doing, and I can't even begin to thank Mo'at, but I have to ask you something." Norm said as Jake laid Norm's avatar right next to him where he was laying down, at the base of the Tree of Souls.

"What's that?"

"Why do I have to be naked?

Jake laughed, but kept it down. This was supposed to be a sacred ceremony, and it'd had taken the persuasive power of four scientists, one Toruk Makto , and Neytri to change Mo'at's mind.

"I thought it was kind of weird too. Word of warning though: the transfer's going to be...strange."

Bill had declined in participating in the ceremony. Singing wasn't his thing, and he technically still wasn't one of the people. Neither was Jake, biologically speaking, since he had the DNA signature of an avatar, not a Na'vi. He stood at the far side of the grove that the tree inhabited, with Tweety being his only company. He turned to the massive banshee as the last avatar had been delivered to the tree.

"So, any philosophical input on this?" he asked the critter, and Tweety simply craned his head.

"Truly, you are the next Nietzsche." Bill said to his banshee.

The ceremony had started, and the iridescent roots that spread throughout the grove from the Tree began to pulse. It was subtle at first, but grew in strength as the drumbeats grew louder. The pulses became brighter, and soon the light began to flow to the center of the tree. Bill could see Mo'at _and_ Neytiri in white ceremonial robes dancing up a storm as they asked Eywa to make the science team become Na'vi (and as a handy side-effect: not choke to death). He was some distance away from the Tree, but he could see that their seemed to be white glowing roots climbing around the human and avatar bodies of the entire avatar team, and pretty soon the human bodies stopped moving altogether. In a unified cry from the clan that forced Bill to cover his own ears, the music was over.

He shook his head until the ringing stopped and then noticed that Mo'at and Neytiri were taking off the exopacks of the human bodies. As they did, several of the avatars were waking up, a few of them clutching their heads for a horrible headache. Most just looked around, stupefied by what had just happened to them, or wondering what the hell they just got themselves into. Bill and Jake had the foresight to bring them clothes from the avatar cabin, which were being passed out to the shell-shocked science team. Hell, a few of them were shivering from fear.

Bill decided to congratulate the team on not dying as most of the clan were starting to move to the new inductees to welcome them. That, or Jake told them to. Either way worked.

"So," Bill said as he walked up to Norm, who had just finished slipping on a red shirt and his favorite baseball cap, "how ya feel?"

"Good. I think." he said, his mind still trying to take in the gravity of what had just occurred. "I knew I was going to be on Pandora a while. Just...not like this."

As Neytiri and Mo'at went around to check on the rest of the avatars, Jake leaned in towards Bill and Norm.

"Listen, I know some of the team didn't really have a choice in the matter, so they can go back if they want. If any of them want to stay..."

"You're passing out invitations to the clan like it's candy. Cheap candy." Bill remarked.

Elsewhere, Dr. Holland and Dr. Mercado had stood up from the ground when the ceremony had finished, and Holland was grinning from ear to pointy ear staring at Mercado.

"Yeah, yeah I know. You were right about something for once in that addled, mystical portal to Crazyland you call a brain." Reid muttered.

Most of the avatar team decided to continue with their research and would bear the smaller living spaces, Bill included. As a fleet of banshees delivered the scientists back to Hell's Gate, Jake told them that they were welcome back to their home any time.

They waved goodbye to the clan leader, and when the banshees disappeared from sight, the avatar team retired to the cabin. They'd do science tomorrow. They just needed a break for now.

Bill, of course, was still counting on the RDA to show up. Sure, the whole fact that the only remaining inhabitants of the planet were either dead or at least their human bodies were might put a damper on things when they make contact, but still. It's not like they could of seen that weed coming. Bill estimated that, the next ISV was going to arrive in about a month. Actually, three more ISVs from the fleet should have passed thorough Pandora, but Bill just assumed they were flying around somewhere in the Alpha Centauri sytem, awaiting subliminal communications orders from the corporation to land and try and re-establish a colony. They were probably waiting until at least half the fleet arrived on Pandora, so they would have sufficient materials and manpower to get Hell's Gate up and running again.

The science team receiving permanent transfers was just a bump in the road. A very strange bump in the road. Most of the avatars were still a little out of it, trying to get used to the fact that it wasn't a dream anymore, and these were their true bodies now.

Bill simply sighed and went back to his cabin to continue his research. He was so not obsessed with it. He could stop any time he wanted.

* * *

The CEO of the RDA let out another sigh as the hovering camera bots unleashed another round of photography, and questions poured in from the reporters.

_"Sir! Why hasn't Hell's Gate sent a signal?"_

_"Sir! Do you think something happened to the mining colony?"_

_"Mr. Cadeson! Have relations with the Na'vi deteriorated?"_

He put a hand up to halt the reporters so that he could talk.

"All I know is that Hell's Gate has not sent in a scheduled superluminal transmission that was due months ago. It could be technical problems, it could be something else. I will not say at this time, but I can guarantee you that if it were something serious, a distress signal would have been sent, which did not happen." he said.

Ever since Hell's Gate went silent, the RDA's stock had been in a steady decline. Nothing serious, but if it continued, people might really start asking questions. And he had lied about not receiving a distress signal. Last year, back in August, they had received one, and only one message from Hell's Gate, sent and encrypted by a high level security officer. It only took days to decypher and whoever wrote it must have been in a huge hurry, but the message was clear as day and nearly gave the old CEO a heart attack when he read it:

_"we fked up - Hels gat - overrun"_


	17. Chapter 17: First Day

It had been a full year since Bill had had his adventure to the former human colony, and he faced an even bigger problem, beyond possible suffocation or mangling by a Thanator.

He was bored.

Bored with collecting samples, bored with analyzing what they were made of, and bored of the utter lack of things to do around the base. There was no power, and most of the avatars spent their days playing sports or trying to clear the weeds. The chemist had taken to talking to himself to stave off the soul-crushing dullness. Some of the others began to worry about him.

The jungle had steadily creeped into the inner part Hell's Gate, and even some of the science lab on the inside was beginning to show infestation. Many of the scientists went native during that time to take up Jake's offer, but some did remain, including Norm. He had studied the Na'vi for years and could speak their language fluently, but he couldn't bring himself to just drop his humanity entirely. As much as he adored the Na'vi, the human nerd side of him wanted to cling to the last remnants of civilization, and it's not like he could spend all day cracking old sci-fi jokes with the other clan members.

As Bill poured over some notes he had jostled down that morning, he saw the large frame of an avatar enter the cabin out of the corner of his eye, and the baseball cap it was wearing.

"Norm." Bill said, not looking away from his notes.

"Yeah, um, I came in here to tell you something." he said, taking off his hat. Norm had seen a pack of viperwolves prowling around the bushes that had grown over the gates the day before, and it was then he decided that staying at Hell's Gate was a lost cause. Screw the RDA, they'd just put him in a kangaroo court anyway if they came back. "Me and the others have decided to leave."

"Okay." Bill grunted, not having paid attention to what Norm had just said.

"Well, I came into here to ask you if you could take us to the clan. We don't have banshees, so..." he trailed off. In recent weeks, the chemist had almost completely begun to shun human (so to speak) contact, and didn't talk to anyone beyond your average benign comments on how nice the weather was.

"Are you okay?" Norm asked, walking toward the chemist. As he got closer, a visible twitch appeared in Bill's left eye. He thought he could handle being stuck on Pandora forever, but his thoughts betrayed him and his mental health. If he had to see the ruins of Hell's Gate one more time, he'd find the nearest Hammerhead and challenge it to a friendly game of stampede.

Bill looked up from his papers, eye twitch still very evident. He was only vaguely aware of Norm's presence, so when he was the anthropologist standing next to him, he shook himself into clarity and looked up to Norm from his oversized chair.

"I-I'm sorry. I'm spacing out here. What did you want?"

Norm started scratching the back of his head, nervous. He really did not like the prospect of riding Tweety as some of the other scientists had to join Jake the rest of the science team, but it was better than turning out as a snack for a roving viperwolf pack.

"The rest of us. We've decided to leave Hell's Gate."

That put Bill in a very interesting position. If he took them all to the clan, that would leave him all alone at the compound, and on Pandora, unless you were an experienced Na'vi hunter or a Thanator, strength resided in numbers. Solitude would really be the deathblow to whatever pillars were left that were supporting Bill's sanity. His eye twitch intensified.

"Bill? You alright, man?" he asked, leaning in. The doctor dropped his pencil, and looked straight at Norm, or rather, the space behind his head. A crooked smile creeped over his face.

"_I see you." _he said in Na'vi. The fact that he would say something like that out of the blue was mildly creepy in itself, but it got even worse when he looked away from Norm and kept repeating the phrase, rocking back on his chair as he did so. Norm slowly backed away, and then ran outside. The rest of the avatar team was waiting on Norm to tell them to get ready to leave, but instead were greeted by a profoundly disturbed Dr. Spellman.

"So, Bill ready to go?" one of them asked.

"Uh, no. Bill has gone bye-bye." he replied, turning back to the cabin, where Bill's mantra could still be heard, over and over and over.

* * *

"Sorry about that whole thing earlier. Just, the thought of being left all alone with nothing to do made me go a little tipsy there." Bill said as he jumped onto Tweety with Norm on the banshee's backside.

"You're sure you're okay now?" Norm asked. He had decided to sit at the far end of the banshee in case Bill took another quick trip down Insanity Lane.

Bill waved a hand lazily at Norm as he formed the bond with Tweety. "I am now. I can just bring all my equipment with me."

Not _that_ was weird. Norm and the rest of the team had given up all hope of trying to get any real research done weeks ago, which is why most of them had joined the Na'vi at that point. How would Bill accomplish anything scientific without a lab?

It would take four round trips to deliver the rest of the avatars to the Omaticaya Clan, and Norm was first in line. He'd become the de facto leader of the avatars remaining at the compound, and was actually friends with many of the clan members. The rest of the avatars were schooled in Na'vi culture and language, so it didn't take them long to assimilate, and Bill was...Bill. During his little nervous breakdown: he formulated an even newer game plan: continue research. Yes, the RDA was gone. Yes, so was most of his equipment. Yes, he could even be accepted by the clan, something that was unthinkable just two years ago. He'd live on the outskirts of the village and go about his business nonetheless.

He realized his own madness, and Tweety could sense it too. As they took off, Bill made eye contact with the banshee and saw something in its eyes that he had never seen before: fear. Fear of it's own master. The doctor pretended to not have seen the primal emotion from the animal, and gave it the command to head to the Omaticaya.

The trip was short, but their visit was still a surprise. Norm jumped off, asking one of the Na'vi where the Olo'eytkan was. The alien pointed to one of the higher branches, and Norm took off. He returned a little later with Jake in tow, the ex-marine looking pretty amused.

"Norm tells me you guys are fed up with looking at concrete." he mused, arms folded.

"Yeah." Bill replied simply, keeping his thoughts elsewhere.

"Good thing you guys took me up on my offer. It was going to expire five days from now."

"Oh, ha ha."

Bill told Tweety to lift off once more to collect the rest of the avatars and bring them to their new home, and probably their permanent one. He didn't talk much to the rest of the team, and when one of them would ask what Bill would do, he ignored him. One of them suggested he spend more time talking to people instead of writing page after page of info, but the chemist scoffed at the idea. To prepare himself for his new working conditions, he saddled up all the glassware and mixing utensils that he could fit in one bag, but left his molotov stockpile. He didn't need them now, and it wasn't worth the risk of one of them exploding by accident and burning down the Na'vi's new home, too.

As he delivered the last avatar to the Na'vi home, he had noticed that many of the natives had turned up. He spotted Dr. Holland first, still wearing that damn medical coat. Not that Bill had any right to criticize him; he packed a huge bundle of clothes for his move, mostly just old work clothes from the closet back at the cabin. Most of the science team had completely shunned technology at this point.

Bill had formed his own private cargo cult at this point, and he knew it. He still believed the RDA was returning, but he had finally accepted the fact that they weren't going to be back for a very long time. He'd roll with the punches thrown by Pandora as they came, and he'd try to keep some semblance of civilization alive.

"Today is the first day of the rest of my life." he mumbled to himself, and he started looking for a suitable spot to set up camp. As he did so, he could hear Jake talking to Norm and the final hold-outs from Hell's Gate. They'd still have to go through all the trials and tribulations that any Na'vi would, but it wouldn't be that hard for them, with possibly the exception of learning how to string a bow and fighting what was essentially a dragon to tame it.

"I'm going to die out here. From old age." he thought.

* * *

Bill brought more than a few pens and blank journals with him. He decided to start a diary of sorts. Who knows, maybe by some obscene stroke of good luck he'd get his human body back, and he could sell the diary for ungodly amounts of money. He'd lost track of the Gregorian calender pretty quickly, so he kept time by the position of the moons around Polyphemus.

**Month 1**

Norm and a few others were nice enough to help me set up a tent...thingie outside of the village. I still can't believe I'm out here. A year or so ago I was still human, bitching about how I was going to suffocate, but my current set of lungs laugh in the face of hydrogen cyanide.

I'm still collecting stuff, still crushing them together and storing them. I brought a crapload of containers with me, so I should be good, for now. Don't really have much else to say. Neytiri asked me why I'm all the way out here, and I tell her I'm still too human. As in, I still talk in English by default and it still takes me less than four seconds to remember who FDR was or what the Pythagorean Theorum is.

**Month 2**

Norm got a banshee. Good for him. A few of the other avatars that had been here a little longer got theirs too, and they did the whole acceptance ceremony, white paint and everything. I asked Dr. Vanzo, (a meteorologist. Good guy, kinda shy though.) how he felt when they had finished applying the paint, and said "ridiculous".

I'll admit, I laughed.

**Month 3**

Same old, same old. Sally keeps bringing in the bacon, and Holland's creepy as ever. The healer, Tey'to, he's getting up in there age-wise. Wouldn't be surprised if I have to see Rob for injuries pretty soon. The other day Reid stole one of my pens and made a fake 30 dollar bill by writing on a leaf. He used a robot Abe Lincoln as the president.

The natives didn't get the joke.

**Month 4**

Welp, that's it. All the avatars have been formally accepted into the clan, with the notable exception of myself. I really think that I've settled into the official role of "weird outcast on the outskirts". Still collecting stuff.

Tweety's still doing fine. He likes hexapedes. A lot. Addicted, even. As in, I think I may have to call an intervention on the big lummox.

**Month 4 ½?**

Can't think of anything to write here. Um, Norm's doing okay. I haven't spoken English in weeks, and I keep having dreams of the RDA returning, only for the ISV to get shot out of the sky by a railgun bow.

Gotta lay off the native's tea.

**Month 5ish**

Sally became mat-er, "married" to one of the na'vi hunters. Be'da I think his name is. I will not use the other 'm' word to describe it. It's a freaking creepy term. Probably a century of higher education between all of the avatar team and it all boils down to nerdy in-jokes that only we get.

**Month 6 (I think)**

Same as above, only with Dr. Smith. You know what? Not going to say anymore on this. I feel like I'm raping my journal

**Month 7?**

Ru in g out of ink. Thi s my las pen

Found one another one. I just realized that when I'm run out of ink on this one, too, I'll be done. Finished. Kaput. I didn't plan ahead as to what I'd do when I rant out of research papers or ink to jot down my research, so I'm at an impasse

**Month 8?**

all work and no play makes bill a dully boy

hahaha just kidding

**Month 9 and a third?**

almost out of ink on this pen

still not a clan member, i'm the crazy hermit outside the village for all intents and purposes now. I kind of like the title actually

found a rare flower last night, gave it to jake to give to neytiri. she likes that sort of thing

**Month**

yeah, i'm writing this in the crushed dye of some flowers I picked

im done

Rda, you suck beyond all measure, seriously


	18. Chapter 18: Touchdown

Bill had been with the Omaticaya for eleven years now. The only way he knew this was by counting the instances in which the planets were in a very certain alignment, which is when Hell's Gate would celebrate New Year's way back when. The chemist had since moved his "lab" into one of the ground floor of the branch maze, after insistence from Norm and a close encounter with another Thanator.

Amazingly, he never went totally insane. He had a few stumbles in the first year outside of Hell's Gate, but they never amounted to more than disturbed dreams or the occasional bursting into hysterical laughter/crying. He had essentially cemented himself as one of the two local eccentrics, the other being Holland. The medical doctor would pop in from time to time to take some of the things he'd mixed together, but Bill wouldn't make much of a fuss.

His "lab", which was really just a large empty area cut out of one of the massive winding roots, was also fairly tame. Bill had taken to decorating it with some of the tapestries woven by the clan, painting complex chemical equations and structures over them. He never talked much, and when it did it was usually only to Norm or Mercado, as they were the only ones still felt comfortable speaking English. At this time, Bill had abandoned hope of the RDA returning in his lifetime. If they were, it they were probably going to be back in the next five years or so, and if they weren't, he was stuck. He didn't mind that much anymore though. Between taking Tweety out for exercise every so often and collecting plants out in the jungle, he had enough to do to keep from getting bored.

He still missed TV though.

* * *

"I've been mixing lots of com-pounds. All the live-long daaaay..." he sang lowly as the slowly crushed a warbonnet plant into fine powder. Try as Pandora might have, Bill still didn't think that he had gone full native, like pretty much everyone else at this point. He kept the human chemist side of him alive by tending to his work, day in, day out. He even still wore human clothes, usually some baggy olive pants and a faded t-shirt, and boots which he had salvaged from Hell's Gate a few years before the plants completely grew over the base.

"_Beel?_" A voice said from behind the doctor. It wasn't Norm or Mercado's.

"I've been making complex mix-tures just to pass the time a-waaaay." he continued, tone-deaf and oblivious to his visitor. He was probably the only person who still spoke English on a regular basis anymore, even if it was to himself most of the time.

"_Beel?" _the small voice repeated, higher in tone. Bill had stopped singing his improvised lyrics at this point, and was simply humming now, but still hadn't noticed the voice. It wasn't until he felt a tugging of his pants leg did he turn around and looked down to see a small Na'vi child looking straight up at him. It was Jake's son, Awtey.

When the some of the science team started having _children_, that's when Bill drew the line. Going native was one thing, but some of them were just taking it to a whole new level. Not even a new level, more like the bonus round you receive after clearing 10 levels on a video game. Fortunately for them, the children would end up looking more Na'vi than human, and there weren't any complications. It still gave the chemist nightmares though. He crouched down to the little tyke.

"_Yes, what do you need?" _

"_Daddy wanted to ask you something."_

Bill sighed. He asked the child where Jake was and then told him to run along, and he put up his mixing utensils. He'd been hoping to work through the day without interruption, but no such luck. He walked outside his makeshift laboratory and climbed his way down the complex labyrinth of huge branches to where Jake was waiting, looking into the forest.

"_I see you_._" _he said as the chemist walked up to him. Bill didn't care what anyone else thought, that still sounded off to him. As he had said to himself before, he still hadn't gone natives after a decade of being stuck in his body.

"Yeah, you need something?" he said in English. He was the crazy recluse who made mixtures for Dr. Holland to use in his healing; he was allowed to be rude, even to the clan leader.

Jake frowned a bit and switched to English. "Yeah, I...I have a job for you."

As long as it didn't involve trying to teach one of the younger hunters to...well, hunt. Bill tried to learn how to use a bow, and he ended up somehow shooting himself. Twice.

"You still remember where Hell's Gate is?" he asked bluntly. Even if he did, the jungle would have probably completely overgrown the complex by now. The only thing still visible would be the towers. What could be there that they could possibly want? The chemist rubbed his chin, trying to recall. It wasn't very far, but Tweety was already pretty old when Bill tamed him, and hadn't gotten any younger.

"Yeah, I think." Bill replied. Somewhere in the higher areas of the branches, he could hear Tweety bickering with some of the other banshees. Old thing still had some (quite a bit, actually) fight in him.

"Well..." Jake trailed off, looking back into the jungle, "you know Norm's kid?"

"Uh-huh?"

"Little guy is obsessed with where we came from."

Never had one person been so right about anything. Norm's son, who he had named Terry on a coin toss (it was a flat rock, actually, but same principle), was absolutely fascinated by the Sky People. To the point where he'd exhausted his poor father of all possible questions he could ask him, and then turned to Bill. Since he was essentially the only one who still acted human in any real way, he'd get surprise visits from the little guy. Constantly. Always with the questions from the little blue child. What humans looked like, where they came from, why they had to leave Pandora, just to name a few. Terry always laughed when Bill had to describe how tall they were, using his hand to show that an adult was only slightly taller than a young Na'vi.

"Yeah, I know." Bill replied, slouching slightly. Jake laughed a little.

"Everyone's busy, but you've always been doing your own thing. I figured you could make yourself useful and fly over there to bring back a few trinkets." he said. Jake did appreciate that Bill was essentially the force behind Dr. Holland's healing prowess, but the point still stood: the chemist still had a lot of free time. Most of it was spent re-arranging his lab. Every so often one of the other scientists would make him tell his little adventure over to Hell's Gate around a fire, for laughs.

"...Okay. I have nothing better to do."

Jake did a very slight double-take, not expecting the doctor to relent so easily, but smiled when Bill agreed.

"Anything I should bring back in particular?" Bill asked he turned around to head up to the higher areas to fetch Tweety.

"No, but Norm said to bring back another baseball cap if you can." he yelled back as Bill started climbing. The anthropologist's old iconic hat was eaten by one of the direhorses a years ago, while he was still wearing it.

He busily climbed up the interweaving web of thick branches until the random clicks and cries of the banshees became louder and louder to the point he could hear a few give attentive screeches signifying Bill had entered their lair at the top of the maze.

"Tweety!" he called. A huge mass swooped out of the leaves from above, and the faded banshee landed on the branch Bill was standing on, his weight shaking the entire limb.

He walked up to the banshee, patting in the head. "C'mon. We're headed to someplace you might remember."

He pulled a pair of lab goggles he now used for Ikran riding, strapped them on, and jumped onto Tweety. Neytiri, who had just landed back on the branch, laughed at the sight. It never got old, no matter how many times she saw it.

* * *

As expected, the only parts of Hell's Gate that hadn't been completely overgrown were some of the towers, their gray metal surfaces easily visible against the lush backdrop. The rest were covered in dense thickets of moss and weeds. Bill used one of the towers to get his bearings on the base, and found the science lab, which was totally covered. He instructed Tweety to land next to it, and the creature gave an affirmative screech and swooped down.

One soft landing later, Bill find himself looking at what he assumed was the overgrown entrance to the science lab. He took out his knife a cut away some of the obstructing vines and weeds to see that he was right: it was the back door, but the strong metal frame had been pushed ajar by the vines, making his entrance a little easier. He pried the door open and walked inside. He had to push as hard as he could to open the second door to the inside, and after a while started to kick it. That didn't work, so he walked back outside, defeated.

Or so he wanted the door to think.

He ran back at full speed towards the entrance, jumped when he was almost there, and drop-kicked the metal frame. It burst opened, and Bill hit the ground, feeling quite the badass. Instantly the sterile smell of the lab filled his nostrils as he collected himself off the floor and went inside. The power was still out, obviously, but most of the inside of the building hadn't felt the full wrath of the local flora yet.

He started to look around for anything that Terry might find interesting. He still couldn't get over the fact that Norm off all people would have a kid. Especially considering that he might as well also had a doctorate in memorization of quotes from every science fiction movie ever made. In fact, the forementioned hat incident is how he met Terry's mother. She starting laughing so hard she fell to the ground. He'd look for a baseball cap later in the cabin later.

As he walked through the science lab, he collected a pair of safety goggles, a lab coat, and a gyroscope. He had a feeling Terry would be especially wowed by the gyroscope; those things were trippy. As he picked up a book detailing Earth's ecosystem when it still existed, he noticed what it had been sitting on top of: a laptop. An old, dusty laptop, specially made to work on the magnetically schizophrenic planet of Pandora. He wondered.

He opened the small device, and fumbled around the plastic surface of it until he found the power button, and clicked it. His heart skipped a beat when he saw the screen light up and the corporate logo of the RDA appear, signaling a successful boot-up. The RDA, if nothing else, made hardy computers.

As the logo faded away to the main screen, he noticed the date on the bottom: Friday the 13th. Bill chuckled a bit, noting the day hadn't treated him well in the past. In fact, while he was with the Omaticaya, he had several instances of extreme bad luck and if he could guess, they all seemed about a year apart. Probably just deja vu though.

Bill hadn't touched a piece of electronic equipment in over a decade, so it was understandable that he'd play Minesweeper for a few hours. 280 years later and it still hadn't gotten old.

He lost every game.

He didn't even want to know what would happen if he tried to play Chess, so he closed the laptop and started his way towards the exit. As he neared the crisp air to the outside, he heard something. It was something that sounded vaguely familiar, but he couldn't quite put a finger on it, but it was getting louder. It was still faint, though, he couldn't locate the source as he stepped outside. He scanned the entire base looking for the strange noise, and it kept getting louder and it still nagged at his memory. It wasn't until his saw Tweety screeching at the sky did he think to look up, and his heart didn't skip a beat; it leaped an entire verse.

It was a Valkyrie, the transport once used to ferry supplies and equipment to and from the ISVs. It was in the distance, but slow descending at an angle, heading for the central area of Hell's Base. Bill panicked and ran over to Tweety, who was still throwing a fit. He made the bond with the banshee and told it to fly and land behind the former human apartments. In a few short flaps Tweety landed behind the building, and Bill dismounted.

"Stay!" he commanded to Tweety, pointing at the ground. He spun around and ran toward the corner of the building, peeking around the wall as the Valkyrie came in for a landing. There were no visible landing pads, so the massive shuttle landed in the largest clearing it could, crunching and shredding vines and roots as it did so. It was then that Bill noticed something very wrong: the Valkyrie had no RDA logo on it. Instead, the letters PMC were in its place, and the United States flag was printed on the side of its hull, all fifty-five stars present. Beside it, the European Union and the African Commonwealth's flags were also visible, along with dozens of logos from smaller megacorporations.

The chemist ran back and jumped onto Tweety. "Remember what I said about staying? I lied! Move!"

* * *

Bill landed at the branch of the banshee nest and hastily disconnected. He stumbled off Tweety and immediately began to run down the branches, passing Norm and his son on the way.

"Hey, did you g-" he started, and Bill threw a gyroscope that he had stuffed into one of his pockets towards Dr. Spellman. He caught it, and smiled as he brought it up to his face. He handed it to Terry, who squealed with delight as he ran off with his new toy.

Bill ran into the area where Jake usually sat in the evenings, a large intricately woven mat in front of the central fireplace on the ground level. Sully was there, drinking from a bowl. A slightly bemused expression flickered across his face as he lowered the bowl to see the chemist running up to him in panic. When he reached the ex-marine, he stopped and double over, exhausted.

"Wh-" Jake started, but Bill put a hand to stop him as he caught his breath. When his breathing became less ragged, Bill decided he'd be blunt as possible.

"Humanity's back."

Jake dropped his bowl and shot up immediately.

"_What!?" _he screamed in Na'vi, which caused several of the clan members who had also been gathered around the fireplace to look at Bill.

Bill took another breath, and elaborated.

"Humanity's back, and Uncle Sam's with them, along with Uncle Yuri and Auntie Cole." he said.

Mercado, who had been one of the ones sitting at the fireplace, ran off to go rub the news in Dr. Holland's face.


	19. Chapter 19: Phoenix

Ever since Bill had delivered the news of humanity's return, the clan had been quite busy. More so when when the chemist was drilled over everY symbol he saw on the side of the Valkyrie. He'd only seen it for a fraction of a second, but it looked like it was sent by half the UN, judging by the smaller flags he saw on the side.

Currently, Jake had all the avatars sitting around the general meeting place, a huge fire pit, formulating a plan as how they should go about making contact with the humans again. Some of the other clan members that could speak English would occasionally ask what the United States or the European Union was, and Jake would attempt to explain that they were very, very large clans from where the Sky People came from. He'd fail, of course.

"So...this isn't the RDA."said one of the members of the avatar team. The corporation's name hadn't even been uttered in years, and many of the former humans were hoping that they'd never come back. Most of them hadn't even spoken English in years.

"Yeah, like I said, the letters 'PMC' were on the side." Bill replied. Jake had told most of the banshee riders to stand by to ride to Hell's Gate, but now he wasn't so sure it was a good idea. What did PMC stand for? He _really_ didn't want the M to stand for military.

Most of the clan who were gathered around the fire pit would suggest that they strike at the vessel while it was still there, defenseless. Neytiri would tell them to shut up, that things were different this time. She comprehended that the humans who had almost destroyed Pandora last time were of a very powerful, very corrupt clan. At least, she hoped so. Bill always got the image of the executive of the RDA tying Na'vi to train tracks while twirling his mustache. He never did like his former employers that much.

Dr. Vance, another botanist, spoke up:

"Listen. That weed that grows near Hell's Gate? It is nearly impossible to cut through. They'll days, maybe weeks trying to clear enough for a runway."

Jake's ears twitched. He looked over to the doctor. "So, what are you saying?"

"If we're going to do something, we better do it now, while they're busy."

Whoever this was, it wasn't the former interplanetary mining corporation everyone knew and loved. Still, there was no sense in the humans building an entire new colony when a completed one was just waiting to be used under a dense thicket. They'd be a while clearing the brush and repairing the electronics.

"Okay!" Jake yelled as to get everyone's attention, "here's what we're going to do."

He stood up, unsheathed a knife, and raised it into the air. Bill covered his face with his hands. He hated it when Jake gave speeches. And don't even get him started on Norm's singing.

"_Brothers! Sisters! The Sky People have returned! These aliens are of a different clan, but do not..."_

Bill didn't stick around for the rest of the speech. He had a different plan. One that involved not hearing Jake's speech. He quietly slipped away from the fire pit and climbed up the interwoven maze of branches as stealthily as he could, making his way to the banshee rookery. As luck would have it, Tweety was standing on same branch that Bill made his way up to at the top of the canopy. He walked up to the hulking Ikran, made the bond with him, and told him to take off as quiet as he could.

"_If you make so much as a peep, it's fruits and hexapede brains for a month. Got it?"_

Tweety grunted and crawled over to an outlying branch, out of sight. He shifted his massive bulk over the branch, and silently fell off. After a few seconds, he spread his wings, and the banshee was off, with none of the clan being any the wiser. Bill's plan was this: make first contact. He had a pretty good idea of what Jake or Neytiri would suggest. They'd send in a large scouting party, probably armed. That didn't sit well with Bill, as the last thing he wanted to happen was to scare the humans into firing upon a wave of incoming dragons. Bill decided he would land near Hell's Gate, put his hands above his heads, and calmly explain to whoever was on board that thing that he meant no harm, and simply wanted to talk.

Knowing his luck, he'd be promptly made into blue Swiss cheese. But, it was a risk he was willing to take.

Hell's Gate wasn't that far from the Omaticaya clan's new home, and it didn't take long for the massive spires from the derelict colony to come into view. He could already see two more Valkyrie's swooping in to land as the first one was taking off. That meant at least two ISVs, two Valkyries for one ISV, plus the one taking off.

"Listen, Tweety." he said as they approached Hell's Gate, looking down into the creature's eyes. "I just wanted to say that if I don't make it, if they shoot me, I always did like you. You may be rude, mean, noisy as hell, but you still beat taking the bus." Tweety simply roared in reply. Bill wasn't sure if was one of anger or appeasement.

He had gotten close enough to the base to warrant a landing. He gave Tweety the signal to land on the side of a tree in the canopy below, and Tweety went into a nose-dive, crashing through the leafy canopy and scattering a Prolemuris family that had been in his way. He flapped twice to slow himself down, and used his massive claws to latch himself to the side of one of the many trees on Pandora.

"_Good boy. Now, stay."_ Bill commanded as he let go of Tweety and climbed his way down the tree.

"I really, really hope I know what I'm doing." he muttered as he walked towards the tall gates of Extrasolar Colony 01, its walls long ago reclaimed by Pandora.

The first thing he noticed as he climbed over the walls was he had not died. He'd been half-expecting the stinging pain of a bullet hitting his backside as he climbed down the inner side of the wall, but remained intact. He dropped the last few feet and hid behind a few overgrown crates, peeking out from behind them to observe the new arrivals.

The two Valkyries pulling in had the same paint job as the one leaving. The large red letters "PMC" were printed on the side, along with the large flags of some of the bigger governments back on Earth. Under the large red letters, he could barely make out some smaller ones, ones that looked like complete words. He darted from the crates to a garage nearby, flattening himself up against the steel wall as soon as he touched it. Still no gunfire. Good.

There were several garages lined up one against the other, and Bill took this layout to move from building to building, unseen. As he reached the last garage, he looked out from the corner of the structure to get a closer look at the Valkyrie. He could make out the words under the three large letters quite clearly now:

_**Pandora Mining Corporation**_

"Oh, great," he said to himself, "at least they're blunt about it."

And then the flags on the side suddenly made sense: they must be the financial contributors. A hiss came from the two shuttles, and Bill ducked back behind the structure to avoid being seen. Bill heard the _thud_ of the two unloading ramps hitting the metal floor of the colony, and then voices.

"-want you smurfs getting that equipment set up by nightfall! The forest ain't your friend!"

He scooted a little closer to the edge of the garage, still listening in to the barking voice.

"Move it move it move it! I want these weeds out of here by the end of the week!"

A second voice joined in, calmer, but just as annoyed.

"Ugh, we're gonna be forever getting this place working again."

"You just do whatever you need to do to play nice with the natives."

"Mmmhm. Speaking of which, we should probably be unloading the link beds right now."

Bill peeked around the corner once more and saw the Valkyries with their ramps down, humans and AMP Suits making their way off the ship. The two voices belonged to a solider-looking individual and a younger man wearing short khaki pants and a business shirt. Bill knew he had seen the businessman before, he just couldn't quite-

"Hey, did you see something over there?" the businessman asked, pointing towards Bill as he shot back behind the garage.

"Yes, I believe I did." the soldier replied. He barked at two AMP suits to go check it out.

Bill had frozen with fear, knowing he had been found out. He couldn't fight two AMP suits, or outrun them. Even if he could, he'd probably just get shot to death as he tried to flee. He reverted back to his plan: if caught, surrender. He closed his eyes as the distinct clanks of two power suits approached the garage. The doctor's breathing became shallow, and his heart felt it was about to leap out of his chest. He could even hear the blood pumping through his veins.

"Uh...Commander? We've got a native." radioed one of the AMP suit drivers as they walked around to the side of the garage. Bill was still having a minor panic attack, completely unaware that they were looking at him.

"Something's not right though." said the other AMP suit pilot. "He's...wearing human clothes."

The suit snatched the radio of the the soldier's hand. "Do not scare him off. That's an avatar! Stay tight. I'm coming over there."

Bill had become vaguely aware of the voices enough to open his eyes and saw the two AMP suits towering above him, the pilots looking at him with a strange mix of curiosity and suspicion. he shot up, his back against the wall, and raised his hands.

"I don't want to hurt anyone! I just saw the Valkyries and had to check it out!" the doctor pleaded.

"Woah," one of them went, "You speak English?"

"Well of _course_ he speaks English." said the same, annoyed voice Bill had heard earlier, behind the AMP suits. The robotic shells turned, as did Bill, to a small businessman, wearing an exopack. "He's an avatar. You know, human?"

"Oh. Right."

The small man made a motion for the two AMP suits to go back to the base. They looked at each other, their massive metals frames giving a shrug. They walked away, their heavy bodies crunching the roots below them.

"Hello." the businessman said. Bill said nothing, still not sure of what to make of these new invaders. The human extended a hand, inviting a handshake.

"Roger Cadeson."

Bill's eye twitch had returned. Roger Cadeson was the son of the RDA's CEO, and an individual who made it very clear he wanted nothing to do with running his father's empire. Roger had a reputation of making vicious comments against his father's corporation, and backing several environmentalist groups, just to spite him. The very last person Bill expected to ever run into on Pandora.

Roger saw the confusion in Bill's eyes, and elaborated.

"You may have noticed the logo on the Valkyries. The RDA went, uh, bankrupt."

_That _shook Bill into lucidity. As he opened his mouth to unleash a flurry of questions upon the human, dozens of others began to crowd around the side of the building to catch a glimpse of the avatar snooping around Hell's Gate, being led by the soldier. He stepped out in front of the group and waved his arms, telling them to give the avatar some space.

"You know what?" Roger said, "This is probably a bad place. You can tell us all about yourself near the Valkyries."

"You heard the man!" the soldier said as the shooed the crowd off, "Story time can wait! Get out of here!"

* * *

Jake had just finished his speech. As the Na'vi around him cheered, Ninat tapped Norm on the shoulder a few times.

"_Yes?"_ Norm asked his mate as he turned around, wondering what she could want at the moment.

"_Have you seen Bill?"_

"_No, I ha-" _he trailed off, his ears going down as it dawned on him what Bill's absence could possibly mean.

"Oh shit."

* * *

Bill was laughing. Hard. Roger had been explaining to him just what had happened to the RDA when the Venture Star returned, and one of the first things was Parker's firing, which he went through in every minute detail, including the excuses Selfrdige tried to make. The last time he heard, Parker was still looking for a job, and was probably one of the most hated people on Earth after videos of Quaritch's actions got out.

Pretty soon, the RDA collapsed. It had devoted almost all of its resources in the mining of Pandora, and with no Unobtanium to keep them in the black, the company soon declared bankruptcy. But, this was a corporation with the power and wealth of a continental trade union, and it couldn't just die.

As the megacorp's assets became liquefied, it's maglev network was seized by the major political entities of Earth, and through an emergency meeting of the United Nations, the Pandora Mining Corporation was created to fill in the vacuum that the RDA had left behind. Sponsored by dozens of nations and several smaller megacorps, it managed to pull together the funds necessary to begin mining on Pandora anew.

When the RDA tried to recoup its losses, it poured all its remaining resources into a way to artificially produce Unobtanium. They were unsuccessful, but their efforts did create a more efficient way to use the rare element, cutting the need for the mineral in half. Earth was still in an energy crisis though, and that little gray rock was their only hope.

However, there were new guidelines. People were absolutely disgusted by the carnage that had befallen the Omaticaya clan, and the ICA and UN were forced to put several major restrictions upon the PMC, including and stressing cooperation with the natives above all else.

"So, it's 'play nice' or everyone dies." Bill said at the end of Roger's explanation.

"Pre-tty much."

Bill chuckled. "Heh. I like this PMC already."

Roger folded his arms and looked around, still slightly bewildered by the avatar's existence. The base was completely overgrown, and any linkup stations would have failed long ago. When the RDA got kicked out, the AVTR team was allowed to stay. If the linkup beds were offline now, what happened to them?

"So...you the only one left? Where's everyone else?" he asked.

Bill didn't say anything, instead looking off into the distance. He smiled as he saw over a dozen shapes in the horizon. Banshees.

"You know what?" he said, standing up and pointing towards the flying objects far off in the sky, "I think it's better if ask them yourself."

Roger turned around and his eyes went wide when saw an armada of Ikran heading towards the base. The rest of the crowd was abuzz with worried murmurs. He turned back to Bill.

"Okay, one last question from you before they get here. Is Jake Sully with them? The Na'vi?"

"Jake Sully _is_ a Na'vi, if that's what you're asking."

Roger's mouth fell open as he tried to formulate another question.

"W...what? What the hell does that mean?"

Bill mimed zipping up his mouth.


	20. Chapter 20: Platinum

Commander Reese didn't like this. Put in command of the PMC's security after the RDA screwed themselves over, and he already had banshees flying into Hell's Gate completely uncontested. He'd already been briefed on Jake Sully, the traitor of mankind/hero of a defenseless people, depending on who you asked. The marine had brought down a Dragon single-handedly. He could have ordered his men to shoot them right then and there.

On the other hand, it was made_ very _clear that if he turned into another Quaritch, he'd probably meet the same fate if not by the natives, then by a war crimes tribunal.

"Hold it." he said, raising up a fist as a few of the AMP suits trained their guns on the incoming banshees.

"Yeah, don't get antsy," Cadeson added, "we really can't afford another eviction from this rock."

Bill still hadn't told them what he meant by Jake Sully being a Na'vi. They wouldn't have believed him anyway. Even he still thought it made no sense, biologically speaking.

"Okay!" Bill shouted, "Who here has an avatar?"

The response was very interesting. Almost two dozen people raised their hands, including Cadeson.

"...okay. Everyone that has one, with me to meet the natives. Everyone that doesn't, stay put."

A few of the soldiers turned towards Commander Reese to verify that it was okay with him, and he simply nodded. That UN security council had drilled it into his head that the scientists were running the show this time around, and he had no real authority over the geeks. He didn't blame them that much; having served with Quaritch, he could definitely say a thing or two about how just off the hinge the late colonel was.

The PMC's AVTR team, plus Cadeson, followed Bill away from the two landed Valkyries and into a large clearing where the banshees could land. Norm's was the first to hit the ground, as he quickly scrambled off the animal and ran up to Bill, not annoyed, but more of a combination of worry and relief.

"What the hell, Bill? You took off without even saying anything!"

"Yeah, sorry. I just thought Jake might bring half the clan with him, and that would upset everyone here, so..."

"Well, he kind of did." Norm chuckled as a few of the other banshees started to land, carrying clan members. A few jumped off, bows strung, eying the humans carefully.

Jake's banshees was one of the last to arrive, and all attention focused to the huge critter as it brought itself down to the overgrown floor below, softly landing and laying down to let it's rider off. Sully slid off, patted it on the head, and walked up to Bill. He didn't say anything, but he leaned to the side and looked at the science team behind him, and at Cadeson. Roger wasn't sure what to do when the clan leader cast a gaze at him, so he smiled weakly and gave a small wave. Jake ignored it, and looked back at Bill.

"Friends?" he said, arching an eyebrow.

"They have avatars, or so they told me." Bill answered, turning back to the humans. Most of them were exchanging nervous glances at this point, wondering what the natives would do with them.

Cadeson cleared his throat loudly, hoping they'd hear them. Jake turned his head toward the man, and the former CEO extended a hand towards the clan leader.

"I'm Roger Cadeson, kind of the head of the PMC here. I thought we'd end up having to look for you." he said, trying to lighten the conversation.

Bill leaned in towards Jake, telling him what PMC stood for. Jake folded his arms and turned towards the crowd, not amused.

"If you came back here to do more of the same, you're shit out of luck." he said.

Over near the Valkyries, the commander was watching the whole conversation through is binoculars.

"What are they saying?" asked one of the soldiers.

"I don't know. That Jake fellah doesn't look too happy though."

More than a few safeties went off when he said that.

"It's a horrible name, I know." replied Cadeson, trying to salvage Jake's trust, "But it's not what it seems like."

Neytiri had walked beside Jake at this point, also quite irritated at the audacity of the humans to return.

"Why should we believe you?" she asked, eyes narrowing on the businessman.

"Well, for starters, the RDA went bankrupt. We're their replacements."

Jake's eyes went wide with surprise. He turned a head toward Bill, who nodded, and back to Cadeson.

"I should probably elaborate. I'll introduce you to the rest of the landing party." he said, motioning over to the crowd around the Valkyries. Jake didn't like idea of being surrounded by the species he had betrayed, but he could see something in the man's eyes that seemed...sincere.

* * *

"Oh, man, that brings me back." said Jake as he caught a glimpse of the American flag on the side of the Valkyrie as they walked past it.

"_Those symbols. They're the symbols of the clans from Earth." _Norm explained from behind them as he pointed towards the Valkyrie, knowing a few of the warriors in tow were curious about the strange markings.

Commander Reese had told his men to not do anything to upset the natives, even if some of them seemed aggressive. Which was true, as a few of the older clan members who participated in the last war against the humans had to show quite a bit of restraint in order to not kill a few sky people right then and there.

"All right. Everyone here?" Cadeson chimed in as the final Na'vi walked into the crowd.

"First off, I'd like to welcome Jake Sully to Hell's Gate." he continued.

Silence. Roger shot a few nasty looks to some of the personnel, prompting a round of golf claps.

"Second: Jake? Before you kick us out again, I think we should at least explain ourselves."

Roger went into even greater detail this time. Being the former CEO of your own failing company tends to stay with you. When the RDA failed, Cadeson appealed to the UN to give him an administration position in the PMC, as he had nothing to do with the actions committed by the RDA during the corporation's visit to the moon. He had gained control of the company only weeks before the _Capital Star _returned, and his father had failed to mention to him that the colony had failed.

As for the avatar team? Cadeson had used his father's inheritance to invest in his own, and the others were chosen by the UN. Many were former RDA employees, who quit after seeing the destruction of the Omaticaya clan's new home.

Jake listened intently to the entire story, and when Cadeson was finished, he replied with a resounding "Huh."

"So...will you help us?"

Jake looked at Bill, who still looked confused. He turned to Norm, who shrugged, and then to several of the clan members, who gave a throat-slitting motion. He finally turned to Neytiri, who was still staring down Cadeson, as if he'd turn to stone and crumble into a million pieces gazed at him hard enough.

Jake sighed, and crouched down to get eye level with Roger.

"Here's what will happen. I'll let you stay. In fact, I'll have my clan help you clean up the place-"

A few sounds of protests from the warriors, quickly silenced by an annoyed glare from Neytiri.

"-but you're going to do this my way. The AVTR team? They're in charge. You listen to everything they say, and if I hear you doing anything to harm this planet, I'll feed you to my banshee."

Cadeson breathed a sigh of relief. Honestly, death by banshee would be pretty merciful compared to the wrath of his employers if he came back singing the same tune as Selfridge.

"No problem. You've got a deal." he said, putting out a hand. Jake's huge hand enveloped Cadeson's and shook.

* * *

**2 weeks later.**

Those Valkyries weren't the only ones sent by the PMC. Many retrofitted ISVs were in orbit, sending down shuttle after shuttle to drop off supplies and in-stasis avatars. Jake had directed his clan into helping the sky people. Most of the members didn't think highly of it, leading the original avatar team to once again try and explain what the RDA was, and why the PMC wasn't like them. Or so they hoped.

Terry was delighted that he'd finally get a chance to meet one of the sky people. When Norm would return to the clan's home to get something, his son would beg him to take him along, receiving a 'no' every time. One day, Terry's mother brought him to Hell's Gate on direhorse after just to end her son's curiosity of the subject, and handed him to Bill. The chemist then promptly gave him to Norm, and Norm handed him over to the AVTR team.

"He's your problem now." Norm said, laughing as he walked off. The avatar team would know how to speak Na'vi, but it's one thing to speak it in a classroom and a whole other to answer question after question from an overexcited Na'vi child.

The overgrowth had been cleared from the most vital parts of the base now, and the science lab had been brought back online. The link beds were operational, and the AVTR program was ready to begin anew.

It wasn't until later that some of the humans thought to ask where the original team were keeping their old link beds, which forced them to tell their little secret. Their explanation was initially met with skepticism, but a few brain scans on some of the avatars revaled that they weren't being psionically controlled; they were the real deal.

Bill helped, mostly with training the avatar team. Most of them had received training, but it was hasty at best and few of them had over 100 hours logged. Hell's Gate slowly came back to life, and the avatars began venturing out in the wilderness, usually assisted by one of the original avatars.

"It may have taken thirty years and a war, but I think we're finally getting along." Bill said to Jake as they both mounted their banshees to ride back home for the day. Hell's Gate was buzzing with activity, from the humans darting back and forth to repair the old colony from the Na'vi who were helping clear the weeds, and watching over the sky people in case they tried anything funny.

Coincidentally, Norm had hacked the PA system to play nothing but "Why Can't We be Friends".

* * *

**10 years later.**

Bill wrote a book. He had published many papers in the past, mostly dealing with the curious bioluminescence of Pandora's forests, but they never received much attention. In his spare time, however, he did finally write down his adventures in book from, perhaps slightly exaggerated for dramatic effect. In the book contained his experiences with the RDA, his isolated research, his accident (which still baffled scientists), his journey to Hell's Gate, and his experiences with living with the Na'vi.

_Iridescence: A Love Story _

by Dr. Bill Tabar

Foreword by Dr. Norm Spellman and Neytiri Dis'kahan Mo'at'itey.

It sold faster than it could be printed. Jake Sully also eventually wrote a book titled Dreamwalker, which came out later than Bill's book, and absolutely dwarfed it in distribution. It eventually got the point where it was made available for free on the extranet, and the former marine started getting_ fan mail_.

A few plants were accidentally brought back from Pandora, and pretty soon the wastelands that the megalopolises did not cover became dense forests of Pandora fauna, and the pollution of Earth was brought under control in a matter of a decade after the _Capital Star_ returned. At the turn of the 22nd century, things were bleak, but now humanity sat on the verge of a golden age, all thanks to their nearest stellar neighbor.

Things were good.

Bill was bored.

* * *

_Aaaand that's it. But don't worry, I still have a lot more story left in me! Be sure to tune in for more stories and oneshots featuring Bill and others. I plan for most of them to take place after the arrival of the PMC, and the interactions between the Na'vi and humans._

_Until then, this has been an experiment from ProfessorScience, and I declare it a smashing success._


End file.
